Just So Red
by Oni Hunter
Summary: My first uploaded Fanfiction. Reno, a Turk on a quest called life confronts love. Enjoy as much as can be enjoyed.Please review. Thank you. I'm sorry for the grammar mistakes. Please inform me if the characters are extremely out of character! Warning Yaoi
1. Chapter 1

Just So Red

By, Prince Lumminuex Sammael or Reno Bristow MAGE OF THE MANY

I was on the stage of the Seventh Heaven gliding my fingers across the piano keys when I first met his eyes. My concentration was on an old love's tune. I forced myself to forget her name because she was my romance and the first person I ever treasured.

I can't picture the final night I spent with her because it's a matter of life or death, so it feels. She worked in a place like this. In fact this is reminiscent of the old gig house.

This tune... she would hum it in my ear softly whenever there was a moment of silence between us. That night the tune became a song with lyrics that I wouldn't ever forget. Some of the lyrics admitted that sometimes she didn't believe the words I said. When she got off the stage and all her fans had left her to be, I advanced her, kissed her soft cheek and apologized. "Do you believe that I love you?" I got a load off my chest then. She awarded my honesty and courage...

Afternoon came and she wouldn't pick up her cell phone. I tried to ignore it and program the idea that she was okay into my mind. I called again and thrice more. I decided to call her house but forgot she didn't own a home phone number. I found no option but to visit her and see for myself that she was okay and she probably had her cell turned off.

Things didn't go quite the way expected- she was forever gone from then on and I couldn't find the amount of tears to shed.

That evening at the second attempt at the club I demolished in old Midgar in the Sector 7 explosion I summoned her song from the depths of my memory which I had purposely misplaced for the sake of my future.

Tifa is a manipulating woman willing to set aside ideology and individual integrity at any time! And I'm no better for letting her talk me into doing such a suicidal thing. I was almost to tears when I met him. His unnatural timeless stare shattered all emotion in my body rendering me a heartless carcass whose fingers wouldn't cease from the melody they had permanently absorbed.

I hesitated to debating if I were falling into an emotional shock which memories were only to blame or if his eyes really were a gory crimson. It was a monstrous sight. However, it was uncanny but something about them was as natural as exhaling. The peculiarity seemed to be dimmed down by understanding. I understood that expression it was no expression at all because it was the face sorrow and time bestowed.

The point had come that my voice had to fill in the next piece of the music and I did still staring blankly at the pale face with all human drained from me.

"Too distant- sometimes your silence carries me away..." I finished. Finally back to reality I struggled for breath and altered my glance to the fingers resting on some keys to create the lingering affect.

Through water filled ears I could catch muffled shouts of approval. I was not completely back- and then there was a crescendo of murmur. Shiva struck me back to senses.

"Thank you," I began monotonously. "That was a nameless song by an old memory." I stood up.

A tug at my ripped jeans made me stumble forward a bit. It was Yuffie and she smiled at a Turk, me. I focused on her warming beam to see if I could somehow leech some. "You were great!" She had enough jolly to spare thank the Gods. Her grip was tight around the fabric I couldn't escape. It didn't feel right looking down at her. That was how my victims were seen at their last moments. I resisted her hold until she gave in.

Turning at the corner of the stage I was tackled to an embrace. The Wutan's arms wrapped around my neck as her knees purposely crumbled underneath her. I took the bait and held her up by the torso and gave her my trademark smirk. She ruffled my flaming hair amorously flattening the spikes a bit.

Stealing my sunglasses she scampered over to the bar. Not once looking back and trusting I would follow so confidently. She hung out a bit too much with the lady of the club.

Speaking about the lady of the club, as I followed the giddy teen to her place at the bar I felt a diminutive pat on the back. Reflexes created in the battle field mandate me to choke the surprise foe but I resisted, trusting I was amongst friends and that the sweet smell of whatever it was, was Tifa.

"Yo?" I chuck. She laughs and keeps me walking.

"How do you feel about doing this again real soon?" she says adeptly. I mastered the same vote however so I can only smirk omnisciently. This time I swear upon my nonexistent soul I won't do it.

Two young women and their dates clear an area. One squeals drawing my attention. By the she wobbled on her three inch heels and disregarded her rising sateen flushed skirt she seemed a little tipsy. Her boyfriend, a tall blitz ball player, had just yanked her closer to his side.

Before my senses the area had completely cleared. It was as if destiny had mandated it. My bright blue eyes with their excited lime hue caught a glimpse of – him.

His gloved hand held the handle of a glass. The rose lights reflected dramatically off the lacquer and his raven tresses. Within this glass was a wheat-colored substance that fizzled a bit, no doubt alcohol.

The rim of the, now, pastel pink container met his lips at a snail's pace. I then hear myself mumble through cotton stuffed ears. "Sure," I say involuntarily. I had forgotten who exactly I was talking to. My mind was a blank slate. I couldn't exactly comprehend why. "I'd love to," I continued. Tifa was delighted and expressed so by squeezing my shoulders and pulling close to me. Her lips tapped my cheek. My scarred cheeks became ardent at the feel of the heat of her breath and lips. I would have never expected anything of the sort from the lady of the bar. But my face was death stricken again when crimson met blue.

It wasn't exactly clear to me why Tifa had been calling for me so often. I was beginning to suspect what might, in fact, have been a misunderstanding.

With Rufus Shinra "laying low", which was probable, I didn't mind assisting the swelled-chested woman, especially because just for wiping a few tables my pay was a free meal and drinks.

It was already "real soon" and I stood in the spotlight created by the moon fire dragging a fag. I tilted my head back and read, "Seventh Heaven."

I flicked the addiction to the side. From the solemn darkness of the forsaken alley nearby it stared conscientiously back at me like a glowing crimson eye.

My time was just beginning and so was the show...

The spiky, blond haired delivery boy, Cloud wasn't anywhere insight. From what Tifa said, despite his promise to her and their adoptive brats, Marlene and Densil, he'd disappeared from their lives so far and Tifa new this to be a fact since her ring finger was once more bare.

I didn't blame him. By my standards he was correct to do what he did, in a sense. My motto went a little to this affect: _To get rid of the pain you had to get rid of the remains_.

I was terribly taken aback when I stepped in. A stranger had gotten a grip of my wrist and led me. It took me not too long to notice who the foreigner was. It was the Wutan. She was wearing a sassy and rigid garment. It shaped her waist rather well. Her beige globe voyager like shorts gave her a very retro yet modern affect the same with her knee-high laced boots which were the same pastel granny smith color as her corset.

She brought me to the bar. Tifa was on the other side of the counter wiping glasses. I sat on a red stool not taking time to ask Yuffie what her purpose was.

Yuffie held my arm as if I were her escort or something of the sort. She glanced up at me at times with so much enthusiasm I couldn't tell if she was on something or not. I came to acknowledge that she was on something, me. Though, she was exceptionally attractive I didn't think there would be anything severe between us, being the big flirt that I am I smirked back. Then I turned to Tifa and quirked a brow. The bartender giggled a bit but then gave me that _don't you dare look_. _Don't I dare what? _My face said. Tifa slammed her hand on the counter fiercely. Yuffie jumped up and I leaned forward to challenge her deadliest expression. She was fuming with motherly rage. I gave her one of my most playful-normal expressions. She cracked a smiled but her brows were still furrowed.

"Don't worry," I began. "I won't." Yuffie was the diminutive person in the vast wilderness. Her cry was drowned out by the howl of a lone wolf...

Due to my lack of sincere interest in Yuffie I kept my promise to Tifa that night...

Seventh Heaven, in spite of being a club was very composed. There weren't that many intoxicated failures or psychiatrically dismantled people craving for attention. It was a place to decipher the solutions to one's tensions in a tranquil meditative state while at the same time socialize and open up to other individuals, sort of like a café but with alcoholic beverages. Alas with the involvement of alcoholic beverages there had to be some kind of buzz in the air which made it a good place to come across intimates.

However, I only came to that place to forget about the day and drink until I couldn't lift my eyelids. I was always accompanied when I went there but during the course of those days or so I was always on my own, which was why I had only so much rum. Either way my head always ended plastered onto the counter's surface. Occasionally I'd end up with a fan girl in my pants.

I hadn't seen him for a while. I doubted I'd ever see him again which I categorized as superb. I couldn't tolerate and grasp the feelings that welded up inside me when I met his gaze. I couldn't help begin to consider that I was actually enthralled in a rapture of a schmaltzy wave either, because my emotions committed suicide a long time ago. Phoenixes only exist in fantasies. Then again we aren't sure what reality is.

I was outside sitting on a cardboard box near some trash bags in the alley. A rat the size of my foot would scurry back and forth from a hole to a tipped over garbage can. My arms were crossed behind my neck and my addiction between my lips piercing the atmosphere with its burning light and drowsy smoke.

Thanks to peripheral vision I got a glimpse of a red figure. I wasn't exactly sober. It was too late when I began to become conscious of the figure. It came across my mind that it might have been him in his strange red cape but doubt got the better of me and so did my intoxication.

Soon after, something fell onto my lap. My body was slow to react. I gasped and then calmed when something balmy met my neck. Whatever it was giggled and gave itself away.

"Yuffie?" I asked through a hazy voice. I could see her smile in the darkness of the once forsaken alley. I rolled my eyes or something to the affect.

"Hey Reno, you know you should really stop smoking and drinking it's really bad for your health," she said doing a little jig on my lap. I groaned.

"Get off me if you're going to start with that bull." She obviously disregarded that and got authentically comfortable on me. Exactly what was in that box that could withstand the weight of two people?

"Well, it's true. Do you know what smoking and drinking does to your body?" she continued. I would have chucked her off me if I wasn't so sedated at the time.

"Yes I know. I don't care, at all," I mumbled.

"Oh," she replied. Yuffie was annoying me to the limits with her attempt to lecture a man such as myself. I was awfully attentive of the consequences of my addiction and overindulging ethanol but as I had stated previously I did not care, at all.

"I wouldn't be surprised if you were a virgin," I blurted. Her silhouette was now stiff.

"What is that supposed to mean!" she returned.

"You have no idea how to turn a guy on, yo," I mustered. Her hands met her hips like Tifa's does. "Oh yeah, don't take any of my money because I know how much I have in there and I swear I will kill you if you mug me," I recalled. Yuffie had sticky fingers and it wasn't a good thing she was a ninja. I could picture her fuming then. Her legs tightened around my waist and her grip around my wrists tightened too. Everyone held that against her.

"Reno, you are mean," her tone was sulky; an improvement. She did another jig and reached for my zipper. I couldn't fight I just didn't care. Now, I was on my way to ride with Yuffie for a while and see if I could get her out of my hair. She was definitely begging for it and I was a very generous person, thing is you have to supply me with what is necessary. She was all ready. Tifa had no idea and if she did I wasn't aware of it and didn't exactly care. I kept my word. I didn't provoke, she did.

"This is just for a night Yuff," I said before everything went extremely dim. I did get her reply and it was an angry huff...

Like countless amounts of times I had awoken to an unfamiliar room with half of my wardrobe missing. The walls were rather grey due to the lack of light in the room. On the night table near my face a picture of the AVALANCHE group stared back at me. Cloud seemed his usual angst contaminated self. And Tifa seemed worried about him more than the picture and- there in a corner he was. His eyes were almost entirely closed as he looked to the side. His mouth was hidden like usual in the collar of his red cape. His hair flowed to his shoulders neatly. I couldn't help reach for the image and resume my former position with it in hand. I could have spent hours just wondering about it.

What was he thinking? What happened to make him such a cross bearer? Was there some one special in his life? I felt myself tense as I asked the last question. Why would I even care? Subconsciously my thumb caressed his image. I couldn't stop starring but I eventually regained control and my sight shifted to giddy Yuffie on the other side of the photo. I cringed at the memory of last night. What was Tifa going to say? Headache, queasiness, dehydration, and illness the symptoms of excessive drinking over power me. In a shaky rush I lay the photo down on the night table and hang my head from the bedside holding my ponytail back.

My stomach muscles contract and there is a burning sensation pestering my judgment. I can taste the acid by now. I belch and gag. A cough sounding more like a whoop escapes my throat. I feel myself losing balance while my knees become pudding. My hanging head makes my eyes tear and my nose run a bit. Finally the contents of my stomach splatter noisily onto the floor. I find myself unable to breathe correctly and quivering in disclosure. I wipe my mouth with my thumb and nose with the back of my hand. Then I take a deep breath that gets me coughing.

Through my paroxysm I could hear footsteps coming closer. They were metallic yet soft. I couldn't stop coughing I swore I was to asphyxiate and die on my own fluids and digested contents. The warm acid adorned waste melded with the previously discarded on the floor. You'd think that I was used to waking up and vomiting my intestines but this was my worst case ever. I thought it would be my final. In agony I whimpered and shook. My arms collapsed under me. Slowly I began to breathe again. Though, my inhalation was disturbed by a minuscule cough recurrently. I had never felt so feeble.

Disappointment in me came almost at the same time as the smell of tart acid discarding. How could I let my body lose like that? I couldn't give. It wasn't like me. I tried to push myself up once more. My arms were strong enough to support me.

Properly seated now, I attempted to stand. Swinging my legs to the other side of the bed I began to gag again but I was victorious. The Reinforcement; the headache bit but once more I was victor. Now completely on my feet I headed to the exit. My head was light. Everything came down on it. My knees couldn't take anymore. I collapsed but never met the floor everything went red...

Something cold was against my back it was piercing my flesh as well. My eyes had shut to help me tolerate the sickness. My lips felt dry and various parts of my body felt as if they were spiraling. My head felt like it was being weighed down. My eyes felt completely out of place. I met the bed again. I was sniffling like mad trying not to let my tears or snot seep out.

A box hit my pillow. "There," someone said. Their voice was deep and raspy, quite emotionless actually. I opened my eyes. I could only see the dark ceiling. Shifting my sight to the box I reached for it. It was tissue.

"Arigatto," I thanked. I tried to sit up but my light headedness threw me back down. I fixed myself up either way.

I got a few breaths out correctly and was able to sit up in the bed. I put on my smirk and turned to the person whom had been so helpful to me. I whimpered and trembled.

"Ah-ah, Y-you- uh," my smirk faded. I don't know what expression I had on but his was very stern. His miserable crimson eyes moved to my unzipped black pants. My light cerulean ones followed his lead. They had sagged plenty and my manhood was practically exposed.

He raised his brow at my mane-less length while I smirked to myself at him doing so. Of course I had reason to believe that his reaction was positive due to the fact that it was a very well and taken care of length. I disregarded my near nudity and focused on him.

"Thanks again." There was some lament in my vote. I didn't desire him to see me in this condition. I was pitiable and what seemed destitute. I could only imagine how pale and sickly I seemed. I couldn't help but feel embarrassed and turn a shade of pink at the cheeks. I could see he noticed the hue.

"It is fine," he replied. His voice was a bit more comforting.

"They call me Reno," I began but was interrupted by.

"I know. I could not help but ask." It was to a certain extent palpable that I would ask him how he knew. I felt like I was about to crack a smile but-

"Vincent, is he okay?" His name was Vincent. _Vincentius, _to conquer, I was now sure he had conquered me. However cheesy that was to sound it was exactly what had happened.

The intruder was Tifa. She too had stopped to star at my masculinity. I threw myself back on the bed.

"He will be fine," Vincent answered...

A nice cup of Joe does the trick fairly well. I was at the counter involuntarily nodding off with what feels like later might turn to delusion. Vincent was next to me avoiding all eye contact. His actions made me feel rather frivolous. My pants are zipped but the contents of my shirt are unknown. I check my pockets. I have my ID and a small purse of gill.

"Asher Cináed Bristow," Vincent said. "Why then, do you call yourself Reno?" Damn him peeking at my ID.

"What are you trying to say?" I requested.

"What do you suppose I am implying?" Vincent sent lifelessly.

"Why are you trying to turn this around?"

"Why won't you answer my question?"

"Why won't you answer mine?" He sighed.

"You're twenty?" he masterfully changed the subject.

"I look older don't I? Just goes to show you what smoking and alcohol does to you," I answered accepting the change. I took a sip off my coffee and he watched like I once watched him.

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	2. Chapter 2

I've come to the conclusion that I never gave the deserved attention to the hollow in my stomach. I let it pretty much consume me as I blinded myself in the daily rush.

Suds were quickly downed by the drain as warm beads fell upon my hands. Interrogating the bar of soap was my excuse to keep where I was; sitting thoughtfully and soundly in my shower.

I could feel my eyes become blood shot and my back become bruised but it was impossible to stand. In the back of my mind a part of me was yearning the end of its life. The absurd depression beat the worry of tardiness…

Duties done I was left to the wind… And I would walk all the way to where the gods desired me to go… Apparently my mindlessness took me to him… That was the word of the gods…

It had been three weeks since I had last set foot in the Seventh Heaven…

3:30 the clock above the bar read. While I sat solo on the burgundy leather stool my sight shifted to a dangling adornment. World-weariness getting the best of me I began to bat the golden tassels around single-mindedly.

"No cats allowed," a grim and scratchy familiar voice said. I turned to face the voice with a chuckle. As expected it was Vincent. It seemed rather bizarre to me that he was wearing the same garments that he was wearing when I first met him. The only difference with his appearance then was that he carried multiple brown paper bags. No doubt he was sent to the market to get provisions for the Seventh Heaven.

My red eyed phantom was accompanied by a child, Marlene. The way she held him; as if she owned him, provoked some kind of deeply seated envy inside me. I greeted her none the less with a warm heart.

"Hey, Marlene," I waved. She smiled and handed me her bag. It was light and rather soft. There were probably paper towels in there. I placed it onto the counter in a slapdash fashion. Vincent placed his onto the counter as well but with care.

The child hopped onto the stool near me and began to kick her feet and giggled a bit. She was previously thinking of something that had just happened I could tell. "Reno, what kind of cat do you think you'd be?" she wondered lifting her head. I shrugged and mocked thought.

"I don't know. Maybe Vincent knows? He's the one that called me a cat now, right," I suggested smirking at the caped man. She faced him energetically in that sweet 'hard-to- say-no-to' way.

"An alley cat," he joked sternly. I flushed at the tease and scratched my head with embarrassment. Would that be how he'd always remember me; the redheaded drunk in the alley I 'rescued'?

Children are never fulfilled, neither are adults because we are yet children. Marlene insisted on what type of alley cat I was. I didn't mind her asking. I was rather curious all the same. In a patient annoyance he replied a Tabby. That was comprehensible with my carroty hair and the thin scars on my face that had a resemblance to the stripes of a Tabby. The fact that he put thought into the answer lightened up my mood.

Soon after a series of questions the child went off outside to look for Densil. Vincent took her place on the stool and we both sat there with invisible muzzles. I decided I should use my thumbs but the muzzle was too tight.

"I was beginning to worry about you Reno," Tifa said wiping her hands off her apron which she discarded into a corner afterwards. She was smiling as she advanced the bar. "My business is lacking. You said you'd love to perform again. So when can you?" She said serving us my usual.

"I'd have to check with my Director." I really did. We Turks at Shinra were being over worked like mules. Nothing was fun anymore everything was between for walls and a flat screened computer, the latest packed model.

Tifa sighed loudly and leaned against the glass counter. I caught a great glimpse of her cleavage and I knew she wanted me to. They knew me all to well. When I was off duty I thought with my loins. The lace of her camisole embraced her breasts. I was a sucker for sex but I had my limits and I still obtained my head in check in case something like this'd happen. I looked her in the eye and smirked. "I won't go back on my word but if you'd like to repay me with extra I'm more than happy to except your offer."

Strangely I felt Ifirt's flame gently caressing me when I saw Vincent furrow his brows at Tifa's courting me. I swore I was to fall off the stool if I hadn't my feet finely on the step.

A soft laugh came from Tifa when I had finished my statement and she flicked my nose affectionately. I winced and bit at her finger. "You're such a flirt Reno!" she exclaimed. I gave her a half-assed 'grin'. I could see Vincent chug down the drink from the corner of my eye.

The Seventh Heaven's lack of customers closed it early today. It was 7:08pm when she closed the doors and turned over the open-closed sign.

I was playing the piano while Vincent put up the rest of the chairs. His eyes would dart tenderly at me from time to time. Every so often our eyes would meet. I still couldn't understand that purple was becoming my favorite color.

Finally finished with the last note I began again. My red eyed love's vote came in hoarsely yet beautifully in through the musical atmosphere. "Clair De Lune," he said. I nodded. "You're very talented," I hit the wrong key as my blood rushed to my cheeks. This was the same thing that happened when my first love would compliment me. He didn't say a word but hid his mouth in the collar of his crimson cape. For the sake of making up for my error and pleasing him because I could clearly note he enjoyed piano I began Comtine D'un Autre ete by Yann Tiersen.

The tune and his face stuck in my head I mounted my motorbike. He walked out right after the engine started. He seemed so solemn and perfect even with that strange attire. I didn't want to ride into the darkening sky and leave him behind… "You want a ride?"


	3. Chapter 3

I skidded to a halt in the middle of the empty side walk. The headlights streaked onto a desolate figure. They reflected off a puddle of liquid, possibly blood.

"Reno!" I didn't think twice and hurried to the person's side. My boots splashed in the puddle. I searched for the wound. It was near the ribcage. Panicking I swung whomever's arm around me and looked up at the yellow stars.

My hand pressured the opening to prevent bleeding but the wetness seeped through my nervous fingers. As we rushed onto my bike I caught a glimpse of his face.

"TSENG?" His eyes were glistening and my body shook. Never had I seen him in that manner; so limp and deathly. He looked helpless. He wasn't the Director anymore… It was painful… As my chest pumped his breath became heavy and lingering.

We road… The back of his head resting on my shoulder felt warm despite the bitter cold nipping at my shocked heart. Steering with one hand was difficult but for his sake I pulled it off rather well. I could feel his blood running down my arm. They were the tears I couldn't manage for him. Tears, I couldn't cry not for him not for me, not for Vincent, not when there wasn't any rain.

Mustering all I could I carried him, the same way one would carry a damsel, into the Emergency Room. He'd passed out sometime along the way. I left red footsteps behind me. It was all a blur from there.

I recall standing there as they took him away. I felt farther and farther as the wheels of the bed went silent to me. A nurse at my side begged for my attention but I was rooted and confused. I believe there was a slight trace of vulnerability in my appearance then.

Next there was a lot of waiting. Time stood still for the millionth time but this time the speed used to stay in one moment dug a pit in my stomach.

Apparently he suffered some severe traumatic bleeding and two broken ribs. The office didn't find out until the second day. I was starting to suffocate in my dirty clothes and the blood had formed into a crust. As soon as I had bathed and changed I had headed back to the hospital. I stopped by the gift shop and bought him a get well card.

My converse squeaked as I slipped into his room. He seemed abnormal with the Nasal cannula spewing oxygen into him. I would never come to believe it. It impaired me to see his arm stiff while the IV stuck into his vein.

"Hey, dude. I'm back," I said trying to hide my discomfort with his state again. He managed a meek laugh. Head cocking to the side I gave him the card. "I didn't know what to do," I admitted letting my head fall.

"I think you've done enough." His voice was soft. I made me rather depressed. His face was still pale and ghostly. "Thank you, again, Reno." I sat in the chair near the bed.

"Get well soon, Tseng," I sighed. "I mean it." I would seem as if I had threatened him but it didn't sound that one bit. The words were genuine and full of concern. Tseng smiled lightly. It seemed that was what he could manage.

"Thank you again."  
"Don't thank me. I'm certain you would have done the same."

"No, I wouldn't have stayed here this long."

"Thank you, for making me feel awkward…"

"Duty calls, that is all."

"Call me sensitive but you're more important than duty, no?" I tried. His smile faded and he stared at me though his narrow eyes. He seemed confused. I hated his expressions they didn't seem to fit my ideal of him! Over the years he was Tseng! Now who the hell was this pathetic bastard? "What?"

"N-no, nothing, just that- never mind," he struggled. "Ah, you wrote something," he changed the subject. "_Get well soon Director_-_ Your Nuisance, Reno,_" he read.

"I didn't know what to write and I didn't want to leave it so impersonal," I saved. He shook his head and smiled at me.

"You're not a nuisance," he replied. "I never viewed you that way," he shared. I was irritated but swallowed it. I couldn't read who he was at the office anymore. He was a total dual case.

"I'm not? Then why are you always calling my attention?" I argued.

"Because it's my job!" he simply stated with a growing grin.

"You're such a stiff!"

"Not exactly, I can be liberal."

"That'll be something new. When? During the apocalypse?" I joked with a fitted smirk.

"I'll show you," he assured with determination in his eyes.

"Well, now that we're so chatty… What exactly happened to you?" I inquired anxiously.

"I was shot. I don't know by whom. It was too dark." He looked up at the ceiling helplessly and took the nasal cannula. It seemed harmless. "Thank you, Reno, again." I huffed.

"You're so sentimental!"

"Maybe so but that doesn't change the fact that I'm in debt to you."

"Don't worry you pretty little nose about a thing. Just get well. I'll be right here the entire time until you get better!" I cheerfully urged glancing at his somniferous pointed and oval eyes while flicking his 'pretty little nose'.

"Seems you're not so reckless, Reno of the Turks," he said catching my finger. I laughed at his statement.

"I only know how to do my job, Tseng of the Turks," I reminded leaving my hand to him. Lazily he played with it and sighed with me. "I hate seeing you like this."

The older man was practically choking on words he couldn't find until, "Then don't look at me." I shook my head and heard myself say something I would never imagine me say! The nervous rushing feeling came back and I could feel my whole existence start crumbling.

"I can't." The words slipped unconscientiously and nonchalantly. A little color poured into his deathly countenance which was a relief yet a bit embarrassing. "I can't" I repeated as if I couldn't believe what the hell I just said. I couldn't.

The words bounced off his face lightly. Before they could roll away he inhaled each letter and then I stole something very precious. Letting me have it his grin widened into a toothy one. Soon after, he was forcing his lips onto mine with his arm around my neck. My bottom lip trailed and traced his jaw line yet humid from the exploration into his mouth. His hand strained me onto him.

There was a rap at the door which sent me flying back into my seat. It was the nurse from before. I covered my bruised lips and savored the buzzing heat. Tseng looked like how I had been used to seeing him; like Tseng.

"I'm sorry for interrupting you gentlemen but the patient needs his rest." She seemed too young to listen to.

With the assistant ushering me out, I looked back once and gave him my half-assed smirk with what would seem to be a sexually interested wink. His door shut as my red hair made its exit in that whiplash style.

On my way to the hospital café I began to think. _I had just kissed my director. He had kissed me back. Who knew what would have happened if that Nurse wouldn't have come in._ I couldn't help but flush and attempt to concentrate on the pastries they were selling. I touched my recovering lips and it exploded in my head. That was my first real kiss from a man!

I had always known I was capable of fooling around with people of my same gender but women were always there. I just never got a chance to try my own team when the holy gift of the gods was always at my will. If women are a holy gift where does that leave men? I placed a Black and White Cookie on the counter…

…My bangs were leveled in many different ways and were growing into my face. I stared at the swirling white shots of dissolving whipped cream sinking into a dark java inferno through them. It contaminated the desirable caffeine hell with its paleness. I took a breath. Everything seemed to go a little slower, even the wheels of the mechanical vehicle in the distance. The wind thrashed itself against the window I lay my head on, languorously. It had been a week now since I rode off into the falling sun…I hoped it would be from Vincent…


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Sorry I took so long. I had so much work to do. We get projects everyday now. And it doesn't help they're due like a day after they are given. I had lost the will to write for some time too. Please be sure to alert me about "out-of-character-ness" Thank you!

Mage of the Many

Because I'm a Turk people think of me pretty much heartless sadly enough I think myself heartless too. But music never seems to discriminate. Music is a comfort it always has been along with rain. The rain makes it easier for a man to cry. Yes sometimes it's better to cry than blow things up and smash the mirror with near by objects when things get harder. I can't desire anymore pain so I just stand in the rain. When your standing there your eyes feel dry and your body feels cold. You can't notice if you're just huffing or actually tearing. And that icy feeling inside saturates you and it's all over so it kind of leaves you alone.

Music is another way to say what you feel without people knowing what the hell you're saying. There is no way anyone can interpret your view on art without adding theirs, so they are interpreting art how they think it. It becomes their voice when they explain or try it. They'll hear my voice but never really judge me by what I have actually said.

Three weeks after coming back to work I was in my room working on a musical piece on a guitar I had recently bought. On the night table to my side my abandoned bowl of Cocoa Cereal laid. It was two in the morning. I didn't know why I was driven to this. My grey pajamas were very consoling and helped inspire me. At the crack of dawn I was showering and there I was putting words together to the tune but nothing would really sound right…

That day was a Saturday and that meant no work. I went out of Edge or New Midgar. I went to the Grasslands. So much concrete, metal and iron was beginning to get sickening, oddly enough.

Alas there were a few random encounters which left me a bit weary on top of the motorcycle. The new scent felt homely and familiar. Red ribbons swayed gingerly across my pale face. My vision was blurred with tranquility. Green and red went so well together. And the blue above went even better in the mixture. I closed my eyes there and heard myself sing.

"Sometimes your silence carries me away." My voice began to shake and a lump of held back tears grew in my very throat. "Sometimes I wish I knew what those eyes of yours hide away... Oh, my dreamer of red ribbons with a soul so blue sometimes your silence caries me to an unknown space." I sung that part until I began to fade into an illegitimate slumber.

In the distance I heard a small noise that sounded like those overgrown chickens they call chocobos. I didn't care for it but did open my eyes to look. Because of instinct one looks to see who intrudes in their peaceful moment, especially if one was about to doze off. I was unable to see anything and let my guard down; falling back into song.

"…with a soul so blue sometimes your silence caries me to an unknown space. I don't comprehend why my chest begins to race when I meet your mysterious stare." A while passed me by. Still, like a broken record I repeated the same verse, it just felt right.

"Tell me what's behind the glossy film because sometimes your silence carries me away?" a voice inquired. It was so sudden. I jumped off of the motorbike and whipped out my- cell phone? I didn't care for the moment and stared at the keeper of the sudden vote. I stared with a dropped jaw and furrowed brows.

"So what were you going to do with that?" He asked. I couldn't believe my luck. Vincent Valentine stood before me with a huge ride-able chicken. Snapping out of it I looked at my hand and gave a nervous laugh in an attempt to play off my embarrassment.

"You caught me by surprise." I said placing the device into my back pocket.

"My apologies, for startling you, Reno." He sounded sincere but something told me he was amused.

"I wasn't startled, just surprised," I lied. He said nothing. "So what are you doing here?" He explained he was getting a chocobo for Cloud. "You mean he came back?" He shook his head and said that Cloud was staying in the church still. I nodded. He looked at me and I looked at him. We were back at the beginning. From a distance this'd look like a show down but we knew exactly what that was somewhere… His gaze shifted.

"Shinra?" He asked. "You work for Shinra?" There was a slight amount of horror in his raspy voice. I nodded and knit my brows in confusion again with some panic.

"Yes, is there a problem?" He just buried his face into his cape's collar and walked away. I stood there for a while contemplating.

"Hey wait up!" I shouted waving my arms up high. He never once turned back and I fought the desire to run after him. After he was out of my sight 'To go after him' won the debate and so I mounted my bike and went his way.

I ran out of fuel somewhere near Kalm just before I rode over some monsters. I left the bike where it was and ran. I ran all the way to the Seventh Heaven but didn't go in because I recalled him saying he was delivering the creature to Cloud. To the church it was. My mind was set to a goal. I had no idea what I wanted to say or what I was going to say. This was a pointless plan in progress.

I skidded into what once was a church losing my balance but regaining it with a swift hand. Cloud was leaning against a fallen column with the creature. I treaded lifelessly to him. He wasn't glad with my presence I could see it in his face. "Yeah, no, this has nothing to do with Shinra." I assured. He didn't care he was still annoyed. "I'm not armed. I'm on foot and all alone. This is just me, business aside!" I tried. He gave me that 'well what do you want look'. "I'm looking for Vincent Valentine…"

"You just missed him," he confirmed monotonously. I nodded catching my breath. I slapped my thighs! _Damned Fuck_ I swore. "Why are you looking for him?" I sighed and let myself fall to the unclean floor.

"I don't know," I said honestly. My face was burning red when I looked up at the spiky haired man. "But I swear to you this has nothing to do with Shinra orders." His expressionless expression smoothened, which was quite baffling. I frowned deeply and hugged my knee.

"So does Tifa know you're back here?" He shook his head. "I support you Cloud," I sighed. "I understand what it feels to lose a girl you really love, but I was under the impression you and Tifa had something together."

"That doesn't concern you, especially you." I huffed.

"Fine, I'll leave you be… Your long lost cousin is dieing to talk with you either way!" I teased running off. At the entrance I looked back flipping him off and there was a red figure standing by his side. Lowering my hand I shouted! "Red, me and you'll talk some other time! I assure you we'll talk again!"

A red shadow, too fast to catch and see, too quiet to hear, too perfect to not stop and wonder about. But I was unpredictable just like him. That was why I was one of the last remaining Turks. That's why I had made it to the age I had. Vincent Valentine had deceived me, played me. This was some kind of game a chase of a sort. I was confused about everything except for, when I seek I find and when they run I hunt…


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Oo… This was hard for me to write… lol… Grammar mistakes shall always reside. It's not that I don't care. It is that I have no time. And if I reread I won't post.

I degrade my work so… _I know if I notice it, why don't I stop_? Easier said than done… Plus, I don't really think about anything. To be honest I have no idea what is going to happen now.

At animated speed I ransacked my closet looking for the perfect match for my maroon shirt. Tseng had invited me to dinner. My eyebrows raised and mouth wide open I faced him as he told me to, "Accompany me to the new restaurant in Kalm." My training in psychology serving me well, I could tell that he had something to tell me or maybe some plans, or both.

All in black except for the maroon shirt and my red hair tied neatly almost the same as Tseng's; I met him down stairs at the exit. He smiled I ascended which forced me to give him a rude look. "Take a picture it'll last longer!" Funny thing was he did, with his camera phone.

"You over did yourself, no?" he asked. I shrugged and pointed out that he was dressed up as well. Tseng was expecting me too look trashy. I never did wear my uniform crisply. Nor did I ever tie my hair back.

The ride wasn't long but a period of silence made it feel lengthy. It was making me impatient and so I whipped out my handy cigarettes pack. "Please, don't smoke in my car, Reno." I obeyed rolling my eyes. Well, at least those were some words.

The shrinking reflections in the rearview mirror were my entertainment during the passive ride until I felt my eyes grow heavy. "Reno, about what happened during my hospitalization."

"Which part, the part where you became a total pussy?" To hear it from his very mouth was my goal and it was obvious.

"No when we kissed." I gave a long "oh". He smiled. "It wasn't just a sudden impulse to me." My listening skills polished. "How about you?" Poor guy this was really hard for him.

"You're too sensitive." He turned pink in the cheeks.

"I am not!" I nodded. "Well, will you answer my question?" I paused for a while and hesitantly began to explain to him that I didn't understand what he meant when he said that to him it wasn't a sudden impulse. He smirked more embarrassed than anything. "You could say I've been eyeing you from a distance for some time now." I fingered his hair flirtatiously.

"Since when?" I asked into ear laying my chin on his shoulder. Gods that was so gay. Under my minute touch I felt him tense, just a little. "Don't be a cheese ball and tell me since you've laid eyes on me." He laughed glancing at me from the corner of his almond eyes.

"Actually, it was on our last order, before I got on the chopper you said something like 'it's our job, yo.'" His impersonation of me kind of turned me on, unusually. "You were always so careless and your craziness would never seem moderate until you said those words. You cared about your job almost as much as I did. Your word seemed rather golden at that point and from then on forevermore. After then some of your actions fell into place." He didn't make too much sense to me but I didn't care. I was still in shock.

"Such a long time!" I kind of exclaimed to myself. Of course he was able to hear. "So, how many times did you check me out along the course of these years?" It was a stupid question but I wanted to know. Tseng shook his head and told me-

"You're getting too personal now." I tried to argue my point; that he already did it and it concerned me so why wouldn't he just tell me. Plus it was a harmless question. He was becoming extremely self-conscious. I had succeeded and gotten him tired with my reasons _why he should tell_. "Okay, okay, anytime I could," he laughed and I did so too.

It was an uncomfortable feeling, talking like that to Tseng. He was my Director and I had grown accustom to treating him like so. But along the care ride impulses grew rather strong and I began to enjoy him enjoying me.

I didn't have much of an appetite… So we ended dinner a little earlier than planned. Shadows had fallen over Edge and Kalm and my nocturnal buzz was to arrive at any moment. Drinks on me and I was up on a stage. Later I was, I think, humping my director. I remember some breasts, flashing lights, loud music and making out with Tseng. Then we hailed a cab, came into an inn and then I we drank some more.

A bare back faced me. Long black hair fell upon it. I reached for it and with no voice at all called, "Vincent?" Better in my senses I corrected my thought. It was TSENG! My head began to ache. The bags under my eyes could be felt. They were like an after cry swell. My limbs were pudding.

My director rolled sluggishly over and took a hold of my manhood. I found it disturbing but didn't mind as he pat it gently. We were in equal amount of physical pain. But our emotional anguish did not compare. He was the relationship kind but I was anti commitment. After everything I've gone through my only long-term anything was as Shinra employee because of the fact that I never stood in one place, I traveled. I moved from place to place. My heart was nomadic nothing about me was steady except for my word. Which Tseng appreciated, too much I guessed. Home, what the fuck was that?

Speaking of homes, I was feeling like I was going to adopt the Seventh Heaven as my home at any minute. Work was awkward and tiring. My feet thought I should head to Tifa's joint. So I did and sat in my usual seat.

"We should write your name on that stool!" Tifa called from behind me. I turned and waved. She ran over. _Sweet_, I thought.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: "And as you walk away my headstone crumbles down. As you walk away the Hollywood winds howl" I had just noticed that Shinra is actually Shin-Ra… I'm so old for a teenager… crying Oh well… This chapter was kind of crap…

A series of onomatopoeia would go here at this point. Obscuring in confusion and mixed emotions I'd come to experience a few drops of water meeting my face from the thickening sky above. In a matter of seconds everything was pouring. It didn't take long for my body to accustom to the cold beads smashing against it.

My hair troubled my eyes often. Soon after I had brushed the reluctant scarlet tresses away from my face something had appeared in my path as I rode. I tried braking but I lost my grip and a sharp smarting disabled me. It was swift. All I recall was darkness and the rain attempting to drown me, to save me from the consumption of anymore remorse and disappointment. Everything was hollow. There was no end to the abyss but there was only mild tenderness because the sound of the shattering sky was passive and followed a certain haunting pattern that soothed. The feeling was familiar which made me think I wouldn't have minded settling there for good. I didn't feel at home but… almost.

Just before my passing out I had met Cid, a chain-smoking pilot who swears like a sailor in the infamous Seventh Heaven. He was blonde blue eyed and had the most peculiar accent. It was a real bother when he was so loud and utterly drunk. The point is that it was hate a first sight. My guess was that our similarities brought us apart.

The old man claimed to have heard about me a lot and that he was practically dieing to meet my _scrawny ass_. I nodded in a _fair enough_ way as he expressed his dislike for me. His tone was what killed me but I hid that.

Jealous that was what I was when I saw him and Vincent chatting it up. But, due to the optimism forced on me in training, I looked at that as a sign of hope. I just couldn't bare the way hope was coming to me so I headed out to take a smoke leaving the rest of my Peppermint Schnapps behind.

It was a while before the doors opened up again. A couple of people went in and for their exchange I got Vincent in my sight. I said nothing. I looked once but acted very casual. He furrowed his brows (how I could tell is one of the wonders of the cosmos). To my surprise he stood there as if he were waiting for something. Being me I savored his reaction. I milked his wait. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction he desired. My lips were sealed for the most part but we'd talk again. For now I just heedlessly smoked and let him walk away. My rationalizing would have gone like this: "I just didn't want to seem desperate and I didn't have the energy." I couldn't say that I enjoyed the sound of his steps fading. On my second helping of nicotine I decided to mount my motorcycle.

I was actually very far from the Seventh Heaven. My plan for the rest of the night was to ride until dawn. Meanwhile back at HQ no one was worrying about me and didn't set out to look for me because I did this so often. I was left to sleep under the icy tears of our planet.

The stinging came back but much more vicious. I was somewhere vaguely dryer. The smell of healing alcohol met my nose. I coughed and yelped at it's collide with my skin. I was being treated meaning I had injured myself somehow. Vincent and someone else were talking. The words weren't clear to me it was English but all I could make out were some tones. _Minor bruises_, I caught at last_. Wasn't wearing a helmet… Makes him lucky… rest_. My eyes were glued shut and the room was bitter and wintry. Outside the sky was falling. My body shivered uncontrollably. It annoyed me while I attempted not to so I finally gave into it. Limply and meekly I lay there wondering what had happened and what Vincent was thinking.

At dawn when my ride would end I was able to muster up the potency to open my eyes and focus my sight. The red caped man was crouched on the windowsill like a demon. Oddly enough I didn't feel startled. I didn't hold his peculiarity against him.

My first priority was to check myself incase anything was missing but I disobeyed that logic and feasted upon my manifested misery. It was slim yet broad and pale, rather feminine, strange, unique and silent. It turned its head towards me. Lacking words I blurted the first thing that came into my head. "Why do we always meet this way?" I barely had voice.

I came around to examining myself. Nothing was missing. I had a gash on one of my tattoos and a minor cut on the bridge of my nose. My left shoulder and forearm was bandaged as well as my torso. My knees were bleeding along with the side of my right thigh. I wasn't that fucked up seeing I could move everything my only concern was the unyielding chill I felt overpowering me.

"I apologias," he said. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I tried to stand to make him see that I was okay. I could only manage to sit up. "You shouldn't force yourself. Those may be mild wounds for a Turk but you have a fever." Was that what it was? _Those may be mild wounds for a Turk_? His vote was discriminating and angry. I hated it!

"So what if I'm a Turk?" I retorted with equal rage in my vote. "You act as if we were some kind of detestable species! We have faults because those were the orders. We give our word and we stick to it! We obey to survive too! It may seem selfish but you tell me what isn't selfish! Every living thing is selfish! And you can't deem Shin-Ra bad guys… Our orders and ideals oppose yours that is pretty much all you can say. That doesn't make us bad. And if you guys want to call yourself heroes and or good guys look in the mirror you're being as selfish as you think us to be! The dove that has been eaten has fallen on bad days and the person who has eaten the dove has fallen on good; same event different perspective! My point, there is no good or bad." I took a breath from my rant. Shivering I ended with, "Plus, I personally will never turn my back to family." He shook his head.

His golden boots met the floor with a metallic clink. Walking slowly his hair swayed. "Family?" I nodded pleased he was engaged.

"Would you like to take a walk down memory lane with me?" He said nothing but looked at me. "Cool. I was ten years old when I decided to run away from home. My workaholic of a father had just died of a heart attack leaving my whore of a stepmother to continue her affairs in public while I was left to wander in the streets of sector five with my crazy fucker _friends_. Because they'd know where I'd go I had to wander further, Sector Seven it was. There I'd meet a group of rowdy guys about three years older than me. They were ready to beat me silly for entertainment until she stepped up. Same age as me she had dark hair dark eyes and railroad track for a smile. They looked rather poor which made me wonder how the hell they could afford a dental plan," I said grinding my teeth trying to stabilize the chattering. "Little did I know that that brave girl who stood up to her big brother for me would become the love of my life," I sighed miserably. "Well eventually they took me in. They trained me to use my speed and they polished up my self-defense techniques that I had learned from sector five's ladies of the night, and they also taught me how to fight and hack using a half handmade computer. This all took place during the course of four years. Soon I was told I was too big to live with the Chief. So they kicked me out and I had to find myself a home but I needed money. I was too young to work anywhere. Someone suggested sector five I said _stick a pole up it you must be daffy!_" Vincent looked relieved.

"I'm guessing your stepmother never looked for you?" I was extremely giddy because he was interested and I answered his question with a shake of my head.

"She didn't look. Anyways, I decided to work with this someone's friends. Our plan was to get some merchandise from Shin-Ra Co.," I laughed. "Eventually the bastards fucked me over. They left me behind and ran empty handed. I was recruited right on the spot during the interrogation. They said something about technically- blah, blah..." Vincent made a sound like he comprehended something. "I had no choice actually. Either I joined or died. I joined. It was all a blur afterwards. I met Rude. Rude at last was my partner and soon became my best friend. Tseng was the pain in the ass who dictated everything! Six years would pass and everyone would come closer together. Six years, everyday there was something to do somewhere to go, most of the time we'd be there together. That same year I was going out with Rain. She wasn't a brace face any longer. We were an item until I was seventeen. It was a week after our 'anniversary' and she had made a song for me. You heard it the one I was playing when we first met." Vincent nodded. My eyes were becoming teary but I would never cry! "Right after she finished. I told her I loved her. It was final she was the love of my life." I paused. "Damn!" It was only natural to get sentimental but not for me! "The next day in the afternoon she had freaking shot her self. Turns out there were still so many things I didn't know about her. She suffered from depression and it didn't help she carried my kid." Covering my face with my arm I shut my eyes. "She'd always said something about immortalizing the moment." There was a long silence which I didn't desire. "Well anyways that's history now… Even when we are not aware of it time goes by. There are no exceptions or personal clocks. Time flies and we have to keep up." It was the only way I could put.

"I can't help but the think that you were too young to join," Vincent admitted.

"Hey, just because I quit school didn't mean I stopped studying. I was a quick learner with a lot of time on my hands."

"That explains the arrogance." He was correct. I was astute for my age and I knew it. I could chill while others broke their backs.

We talked for some time. I appreciated his attention. I almost forgot that I was injured in any possible way.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: You know I think that Vincent's clothes are glued to him… In my opinion and you may call me a conformist or whatever you want wearing the same clothes everyday is not quite hygienic. I may not be the cleanest person in the world and I'm not a germ-a-phobe, obviously, but that is crossing the line. Another thing I wrote and wrote and read nothing...

A faint yellow mist pushed against the grey clouds from last night. The sun had brought a new day and illumination to the room where we resided. He was back again on the sill watching every moment that passed by outside. Growing warmer I felt the desire to sing. It was one of those sudden urges that seem innocent meaningless. Humming I stared up at the outside he was so attentively examining.

"What song?" It was an unexpected question. I wasn't aware I could disrupt him with my volume.

"It's a project in progress," I answered. His profile was so elegant in the ascending gold light. As I stared I whispered to myself words that slipped off of my very tongue to the tune that I had created. "_Just so red that's what I find you to be_." Confusion came about in that one crimson eye he used to look at me with. "_When you look my way_," I continued looking straight at it. "_It seems that my time travels slowly_." It blinked because of the wind coming in through. "_When I visualize your stare late at night burning a little too bright my heart starts to skip beats_." Honesty, it is a grand thing. It is the small detail engulfed in the swarm of other strokes on the picture we paint on this planet. It makes a domino difference. I don't know if that makes sense but in my position it does. I saw his sorrowful countenance alleviate so gracefully. It was a few years off or a few pounds off his shoulders. I was blessed with inspiration. "_I can't stand the feelings you hand to me, like the ashes from the lone cigarette yet aflame in the darkness of the alley, you sheer through my consciousness and make me think._ _I can't comprehend. I just can't grasp and understand these mixed emotions. That you inspire within my lowly carcass_." I stopped there. I was grateful for so many feeling he inspired yet I came to hate him now and then for the feeling of being completely clueless. It wasn't an emotion I was used to. The only thing I'd ever lose control of was my temper and that happened very few times.

He tried to hide his knowledge. "I hope you finish it. It's not too bad so far," Vincent said going back to the outside.

"It's about a very special stranger." The last thing I wanted to do was avoid the subject. I wanted to tell him what I felt but I wanted him to show me it was okay to do so. I didn't want to do something else stupid and end up at the beginning.

"The strangest things inspire the youth of today," he stated calmly. I nodded and smirked to myself.

"Oh yeah, you have no idea how strange this guy is," I laughed.

"Hmm… This is about a guy?" He paused. "I didn't think you went that way." That was bull and he knew it!

"I don't discriminate anyone because of their gender. If they're attractive, they're attractive." I waited impatiently for his reply. He cleared his throat. Nervousness was a positive sign. When the hunted gets nervous or too giddy they lose control and weak spots appear. He was holding silent for to long. I wouldn't permit a recovery. "You have no idea how attractive this guy is. He has long black hair- Oh, just like yours. He has lilywhite skin like yours too. He wears a red bandana, black pants, and a red-

My slow description of this stranger was interrupted but a rap at the door. A short slim woman with brunette hair and glasses and caring a tray walked in. "It's good to see you're up," she cheered. If looks could kill I would have given her one of the deadliest ones that I could conjure. "I brought food for the both of you." Her green eyes widened as she saw Vincent's position.

"Hey do I know you?" It was all I could do to get an introduction and her attention away from my creepy love. She shook her head sweetly.

"Uh, uh you don't know me but my name is Elise." I couldn't stay angry at her she was to sugary and happy to dislike. Elise was one of those people that kindness pours out from. You can mooch off the essence she gave off to use as a drug. When described she would sound like one of those children's tale characters that deserve to be exiled from all living creatures because of their strong moral views that soon get too sickening even for their kind. However, she wasn't like that at all. She was more like a neat little librarian kitten.

"I'm Reno and I think you already know Vincent." She smiled placing the food on a night table. "Thank you." I had to thank her even though I wasn't going to eat. With that she headed out.

Only when I had succeeded to stand did I notice that my body was completely unmasked, despite the bandages. There wasn't even a rubber band holding my humid ponytail back. I laughed to myself. Breaking his statue act because of curiosity, which comes with nature, Vincent had a full frontal glimpse of me. It was embarrassing at first but after a brief thought I cared less.

The mature grown man look came to his face to shelter his embarrassment from my sight. Funny thing was that dived a little for his eyes to meet mine again. Though this was fine I loved purple much more.

"Where exactly are my clothes?" I asked choking back a few snickers.

"A horrible bloody mess," he said. "Elise put all your stuff on that other night table to your right. She threw them out." I smirked.

"Guess I'm in the nude now, huh?" He knew he wanted to say something I could see it in his lava like eyes.

Elise came back again to collect the still full plates. I don't think she was expecting my nudity. I could tell by the shaken shout she gave. I took a hold of the first thing in front of me which was Vincent's cape which almost dismounted him from the sill. I covered myself behind him before she could turn away.

"I'm so sorry!" she cried flushing maniacally. I couldn't stay angry at her, especially not now…

I held his shoulders through out. They felt like they had years of tension on so I flexed my fingers a little. Later on he'd ask me what that scene was about and I'd come up with some excuse. For the most part I'd fiddle around as much as was permitted, maybe control small actions of his. It would be comic yet satisfying.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: More crap...

Elise had given me some of her brother's clothes. Apparently he didn't need them due to the fact that he'd "grown" out of them sometime ago when he went into a depressive state after his girlfriend had left him. It was sad to hear. I was sensitive the subject...

Her expression was priceless when she heard of my no underwear policy. She had left so that I could dress. Weirdly enough Vincent didn't leave he just turned around.

"You never seemed one to hide your nudeness," Vincent pointed out with skill. I snickered to myself deviously.

"Truth is I don't fear to show my body. I work hard on it and I should be proud." My head grew as I spoke. "But did you notice the kind of person she is?" It wasn't a lie. That was partially why I was so glad I had done what I had done. "Her virgin mind should be respected." In an easy auto fashion I slipped into the clothes. I had taken off and put my clothes on too many times in my life. It made me one step closer to being a master of disguise, not that I'd want to be one.

"I see, but there were sheets behind you why didn't you think of grabbing that instead of me?" He was so onto me but I would never admit it.

"Please, give me a break. You act like if I had a thing for you," the words curved as they were molded by my smirk. "I just got out of an accident my head is going to be a little slow. I saw you're cape first so I reached for it." I shook my head like a wet dog and combed my mildly humid hair with my fingers. He narrowed his eyes in annoyance. The man was sure I did have a thing for him. I didn't need to say it anymore, I practically did! "So what did you think?" My tone was implicative but he couldn't believe what I was asking! "So what did you think, Vincent?" He furrowed his brows in an incomprehensive manner. I laughed and voted to make the question blunt. "What did you think of my dick?" I couldn't believe I was asking that either. I had shocked him tremendously. His jaw dropped.

Expression was precious on his face; on his cold and distance face, which I desired to never look away from.

I battled continuously with my leisurely jittering fingertips. They wanted so badly to stroke his velvety looking skin. I would have sold my soul to have him let me. I didn't want to feel that. I wanted to gauge out my eyes from their sockets every time I laid them on him but if I did that then I'd have to destroy myself entirely. "Why does your jaw hang? It's a just a question? You have one too," I argued. He bought it. "So what do you think?"

"I don't know." A blush was all I asked after I worked so hard to put him in the spotlight. I patted his shoulder and apologized. " Reno you're a special case." It was like I was the only one who felt vulnerable and ready to give into temptation.

"I- I don't like it w- when you tease me," I managed from my nervous paralytic state. "You do it a- and I- it's always so cruel." Those red eyes of his were reading mine I could feel it and it was hurting me so. In the world we were alone and I couldn't hold him once.

It was 9:00pm when I parted with Vincent to go back to HQ. During these hours, however, I was on a secret date with the red caped phantom that haunted my chest.

"I guess I owe you my life," I said breaking the silence. "Thanks a lot." I checked my messages. "Sixteen messages and all are from Tseng," I told myself.

"He must care a lot about you?" He interrupted. I nodded giving him the benefit of the doubt.

"More than he's supposed to. Tseng's a good guy but he doesn't take a hint." Vincent couldn't possibly understand what I meant. I wasn't in a relationship with Tseng. I never agreed to it but Tseng would insist. Tseng's had already begun one could say with asking me out. "Vincent you know me now but I can't say the same about you." I halted. He kept walking. Like a child would, I ran in front of him and continued backwards.

"It hurts that much?" I stumbled a little but didn't mind. I continued on his side. "Oh, c'mon don't be that way. You're so sensitive!" I sighed. "Why are you being so sensitive? It's so wrong when people have to watch what they say around you!" I held onto his arm to keep up. "You can't run away from your problems! It's okay if you don't want to tell me because you may not feel close to me. I might be a stranger to you, still (Although I've been trying so hard not to be). But you can't always avoid the subject. This shows me you haven't moved on which is the worst thing you can do to yourself." He brushed me off. "I know how it feels to lose the love of your life. I know how it feels to be completely alone with only the darkness to console you!" If I were to get any more emotive I would have just shot myself then and there.

I halted again. I wasn't going to follow. He'd stop too if this were to continue. Eventually he did. "I've missed the last thirty years. I'm part of the past." I clenched my fists.

"Look, you're intense state of melancholia that you've clearly inflicted upon yourself is consuming you. You've become utterly closed minded within the walls that you've put up. You're beating yourself up for no reason. Time, whether you're dead or alive or the living dead passes you by. If you've lost someone you loved move on. Everything happens for a reason and if it doesn't there is always a positive effect to the negative. You're standing before me because there is something you have to do there is someone you have to meet. And if you can relate to me then think that she wasn't for you. He wasn't for you. I don't know whatever," I sighed lowering my eyes.

"You are astute for your age." If I had a tail it would have wagged.

I had to pick up my pants a lot because they went beyond low-riders. Luckily the button down shirt was long enough to cover my crack when the pants sagged too much. The sleeves were folded up to my elbows. "Vincent, do you think we can be friends?" I felt I was being really childish. "I'd really like that!" I cocked my head to the side and waited for his consent. He was silent…

My phone vibrated and brought the pants down somewhat. " Reno," I answered. It was Tseng he was worried as hell. I told him that I had been in accident but I was okay. Again, it would be a while until I went back to HQ.

We walked… That was about it casual conversation led me to his cell phone which I was supposed to fix something in and slipped my cell phone number in…


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I've never loved anyone but I've cared for many people… This is so shitty…

_What would he think when he found my number?_ I doubted that he'd call me. I felt like a desperate school girl and it was a disgusting feeling once I rationalized.

I never wanted the day to end. Even when his aroma hit my nose I didn't mind. I never wanted to part from that smell of humidity and negativity. I wanted to burry my whole self in it. I knew that smell meant problems in the future but I couldn't imagine my future. Chances were slim that total opposites like me and Vincent would ever become an item. Opposites do attract but Vincent and I weren't magnets. We were made of different things.

As I thought about it more I didn't want an item. I wanted him there. Eye contact wasn't necessary either just his cold essence there made my life worth living. Once I admitted that to myself I felt I was going to implode. I needed Rain but I'd never know how to find her. Suddenly life became a lot darker and the world became crueler. I was back at the beginning. I became a hermit in my head again. Even the heat of the sun would not light up my corner or warm my body or soul only his acceptance would. And someone who wasn't in love and was never in love would never understand the feeling. They'd laugh and call me a cheese ball. I'd laugh at myself too, actually.

My head raced as I looked at the scene outside my window. The moon was grand tonight and I pretended to touch it. I wasn't able to see any stars like the kind I used to watch when I traveled to less industrial areas. A sigh of mine rang for a good while in my ears. It was put aside by a knock on my door. I would have pretended to be sleeping but I wasn't in the lying mood. I got the door. It was just in my head so I went to watching the world that moved without me outside.

The cell phone on my lap was motionless and noiseless… I hoped we'd connect in that cliché looking at the moon at the same time way that was portrayed so many times in films.

Tired of wallowing around I cracked my fingers and grabbed my laptop. I had set a goal to keep me occupied! That goal was to learn everything I could about Vincent Valentine! I would not rest until every file was glued into my head.

The information was in the restricted section of the old Shin-Ra files. Knowing this was a must read I decided to conjure the powers within and work some of my magic! Having progressed and succeeded I prepared myself mentally and physically for an all-nighter. I soon understood why he had reacted the way he did to me being a Turk. I needed to find Hojo's entries if he had any.

Covering my tracks and setting up the security once more I dashed out and slinked the halls until I met my apartment door. I had left it open.

"Where were you?" The hair on the back of my neck stood. It was the Tseng. Slowly I had given him a smirk. He was sitting on my couch extremely comfortable and shameless.

"I couldn't sleep. With all due respect, what are you doing in my room?" I sounded too cool to be respectful. He got crossed his left leg to the right I shook my head and sat beside him. "What do you want?" He dove in for a kiss and I met him. "I see," I whispered. "You know we can do this about a million times but our relationship will stay the same, right?" He stopped.

"Reno let her go and learn to love again." His words were interrupted by my neck each time he pressed his lips against it. He was late.

"Moving on isn't my problem. I've always been able to do that. My soul is nomadic," I assured accepting his affection and forcing him onto me at times. "But if it makes you feel better you're the first man I've ever been with." I was sure it would. He gave and ah and laughed softly.

"It does," he said biting at me, which I found so bizarre but appropriate and arousing.

Tseng wasn't any bad; in fact he was gorgeous with his naturally grim face and his essence of maturity. It was a shame that I couldn't come to the point where we'd actually be serious. I recalled that I had something someone I knew wanted but didn't cherish it like she did. I half wished she were walking around at this time of the night so that she'd come upon my open door and walk in. She would too. Curiosity was her downfall not to mention her big mouth. I laughed to myself which made Tseng think it was his fault and sped up with foreplay, I guess you'd call it.

That was another thing my bum was a virgin and I planned it that way for sometime. I was always up for new things but that was way too crazy for me. I'd practice sodomy but I wouldn't be the one getting told to relax…


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: I'm running out of ideas and I have no idea how to hook Vincent up with Reno… Vincent has many reasons why not to like anyone… Well all in all I think that the Turks are on Mako because that huge sign fell on Rude and he still lives and Reno got a super beating and he didn't get a scratch on him! Woot Reno's song AKA my song I put as poetry on DevaintArt.

_Did Tseng care that my body was beat up? Did he know that when he laid on top of me those wounds burned and stung?_ I thought. Maybe it was revenge for telling him that I didn't have solid feelings for him. I'd know soon enough the reason he was disregarding my pain was that he didn't remember.

His fingers unbuttoned my shirt. Tseng's eyes widened when he saw the bandages mildly stained by a bloody hue. "Do you think I'll scar?" I asked. He nodded his head. I knew he was right. I knew I wouldn't scar that badly though. Being Shin-Ra's finest meant being a little odder than the regular human. We were a tad more equipped. Mako did a part in the reparation of our tissues. We were still mortal which made everything less confusing. I never understood the physics of it all. I was paying too much attention to the smoldering sensation that the injections triggered throughout my body. After the burning came a temperate and lethargic feeling… I hated every second of it. I felt weak and with weakness came vulnerability.

Because now he was conscious of my ache we just laid on the couch talking about the past few years. Soon enough the sun had awaken from its slumber and Tseng had fallen into his. We were both late to work but no one noticed.

Everything around me was going too fast for me to catch up with for the first time in my life. In my office I had nothing to do so I just let my head fall back. My chair turned me around to face the window. Grey, black, and white and people in brown and grey that was what I saw. I yawned and sighed. A little later I'd head out, untangling myself from the daily spider web.

In Edge I sat near where the tower used to be. I kicked my feet like a child and stared up at the sun far above the ground and blanketed by clouds. Holding onto the sleeves of my uniform jacket made me look like more of a dreamer. My red hair caught the attention of some people. I could feel their eyes on me. The uniform didn't help my situation. Now-a-days I felt like I had an undefined burden waiting for me in the near future. It was destined for me and there was no escape from destiny. I felt feeble. There was nothing to do but wait for it. And even if I did wait for it with eyes wide open I would never know what it would be. Life brings surprises even when you know it is coming.

My head whirled as I tried to keep up with the sky. In its beauty my legs immobilized with something that felt like a nostalgic tranquility and my head went limp. He was upside down but yet a wondrous sight. With immense will I was able to raise my hand in a welcoming gesture. He simply nodded and took out his cell phone. I smirked to myself and pondered if I should lament.

There was a slight vibration in my pocket. I understood exactly what he was trying to say. I picked it up. "Reno, oh, hey, what's shaking? How ever did you get my number?" I mocked ignorance of the knowledge. He hung up too hastily. I sat up straight and snickered. He came over to my side. I'd assume that they knew him in that market, wherever he went.

"Nothing is shaking but my head, at you," he said once he'd advanced me. I laughed.

"I just wanted you to have it. You never know when you might need me," I justified. He exhaled in a manner that called me a nuisance. "Has anyone ever told you that you have the most enchanting eyes?" I kind of teased trying to make him laugh or possibly crack a smile.

"No, you're the first," he sighed. I was getting the feeling he didn't like me but I was positive I'd grow on him if that was the case.

"So man in the red is there anything I can help you with?" I offered. "Carrying some bags or finding you a new wardrobe?" By my change in volume Vincent was able to read my attempt to playoff those words or my noticing. Vincent gave me the worst glare so I shrugged. "I'm sorry I just,"

"Don't worry about it. You wouldn't understand." My face perked and I leaned forward.

"Hey, I would. I can be pretty understanding, when I feel like it," I attempted. He hid his mouth in his collar again.

The strangest thing was that even after I understood and knew all that I did about him I still looked at him the same way. Sephiroth was a scientific miracle and so was Vincent but unlike Sephiroth Vincent was part of AVALANCHE a group that helped people not impaired them. As well, Vincent had always been a miracle to me. His age, though startling, never really sunk in but his added buddies did. None the less, his peculiarity didn't cause any change in my emotions towards him, however it did have a big part in what he felt towards everyone. Something told me that we weren't going to have a happily ever after if we ever got together, which I also doubted. But I was always a determined lad and wouldn't give up so easily on him. I at least would gain his friendship or a slight acceptance. Over and over reason would never tell me why I was doing this…

The feelings I felt last night for him; the lament came back. I stared into his eyes the same way I stared up at the sky. "I'm sorry you ever wore this uniform…" I let slip. It was a loud thought which seem to have struck a chord in him. "I'm sorry we did what we did to you," It was all coming back; the desire to say what was on my mind. All I wanted to tell him when I was reading excerpts of Hojo's entries and science related information about Mako's affects and cells. I was asking forgiveness but I wasn't sure why. I knew I had to. Red had been experimented on like a lab rat and most people wouldn't be happy with someone treating them like so.

I never was happy when they altered us for warfare. Turks were a mild case in contrast to the SOLDIERs. All in all I wiped the thoughts from my mind and blamed no one and felt no anger because it was all for winning. The physics of it would drive one insane…

"You know?" I nodded.

"I have a feeling I know very little. There were only a few pages on your career there where some files that were removed and there were less than five pages about the experiments done on you. They were merely excerpts of Hojo's recordings." I shook my head. "I'm sorry." I sighed. "I was able to read everything in a matter of three hours and it was all under security so I had to hack." He looked confused. "Forgive me."

"It isn't your fault," he finally said. Somehow it felt like it. Him telling me not to worry about it and that it wasn't my fault made me even more baffled at what I was supposed to be experiencing inside. Although this seemed an uncomfortable position this wasn't what was coming.

"Tell me your story Vincent." I was pleading in my head and yelling it out over and over but when I said it I was tranquil and seemed somewhat nonchalant. He did and I learned so much. The information which I kept dear was that he had loved and still did. After then I bowed my head and thought about Rain. "There is a reason for everything. Maybe if you guys had been able to be together it wouldn't have worked out at some point." Was there really anything to say? "Again, there is a reason for everything. You are a 'scientific miracle', Vincent you were meant to live for so much more," I tired to console having faith in every word that I said. He was looking back at me with more emotion than I had ever seen in him. He was dwelling in the past. "Who knows? I don't know but I have a hunch and those can go a long way…"

"Why did you bother, Reno?" It was a sincere, legitimate inquiry that I found that I couldn't answer. It wasn't because I didn't know the answer but because I didn't want to be rejected in any way or form that I found it so difficult to respond. I choked on silence for a bit shifting my glance away from his eager eyes.

"To be honest, I don't know," I felt ashamed for the first time in many years. I did know but I didn't and I wanted him to be satisfied with my reply. The moment was hasty yet lasting. Not sure I wanted time to take it easy I could only give into silence and not give a damn of what he thought. Knitting my brows I looked him in the eyes but my expression changed when I saw the shards of ice dangling off a real face. I was a new explorer yearning to conquer my find… All I wanted to do was touch his face.

Regaining my usual attitude wasn't easy but I managed. "Oh, the drama!" I said loudly and waved my hands side to side. He seemed disappointed. _Why didn't I just tell him? I never used to care what anyone thought! _With that in mind I said, "I like you Vincent. You're fascinating in so many different ways. Take that whichever way you want. I don't care anymore." Walking away was adequate but decided against it.

Sitting there was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I thought to myself, '_Is this love? Isn't it this wonderful feeling that you're supposed to enjoy? If that is all so then why do the smallest things now seem like a chore? Why do I subconsciously set aside my customs? This can't be love. I know obsession is when I want to hunt and kill but this isn't that. I want him to be happy with me. I need from him… I don't understand. I'll be numb from now on. I don't care anymore. Why did I ever? I barely know him…'_ But even if I repeated those words 'I don't care' I did.

"My opinion of you is that you're a very confused young man," Vincent said crushing me. "But you aren't so dim." The compliment was not helping. I could feel- that was the problem I didn't want to feel anymore. I wanted to act. I wanted to understand and get what I wanted promptly but to get what I wanted I needed to know what that exactly was.

Shaking my head shook off the feelings or just helped me suppress them. "Yeah you do confuse me and I dislike being confused. I think I know you pretty well, although some of your actions may surprise me still. Vincent Valentine just," Going on would have made me worry. I extended my hand and gazed into his bleeding eyes. It was for peace sake. He took my hand and with a firm grip I shook it. He looked into me and I into him… That was all I needed. I'd make it last forever. The light of day would never see my smirk again and my smile was buried further than six feet. Someway, somehow, once more, I got my heart broken. I'd bleed further but now used to it I felt comfort.

Behind the French doors I set up a chair and dragged my acoustic guitar. That night I finished what I started. I sang to the invisible stars. And the night air brisk against my body felt personal. Feeling alone again was something I'd conform to soon. I'd learn to love it soon too but first before the flame inside me was put out I'd sing one song to seal it all behind:

_Just so red that's what I find you to be_

_When you look my way _

_It seems that my time travels slowly_

_When I visualize your stare late at night_

_Burning a little too bright_

_My heart starts to skip beats_

_I can't stand the feelings you hand to me_

_Like the ashes from the lone cigarette yet aflame in the darkness of the alley_

_You sheer through my consciousness and make me think_

_I can't comprehend_

_I just can't grasp and understand these mixed emotions_

_That you inspire within my lowly carcass_

_I fight the temptations of gauging out my eyes from my sockets because I can't help glance at your beauty _

_It hurts me that I never find the courage to ascend you and tell you_

_I desire you close_

_I need your scent to reside _

_I want to clutch your hands in mine_

_I wish we could spiral down together_

_In your gaze there is infinite pain but I assure you if you attend to a few words of mine_

_You'll look into me and me into you and happiness will rain and our fingers will entwine_

_Just give me a chance because I'm just so red as well_

_I've been cut by the arrow of Eros _

_And his arrow had gone too deep within a special memories' heart…_

_You and I are yet bleeding _

_Why can't we be just so red together?_


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: I had taken this off Fanfiction because I wanted to correct a little bit of stuff. I also wanted to eliminate the craptastic parts but… LIFE IS CRAPTASTIC AND I LIKE THIS TO BE BELIEVABLE TO AN EXTENT!

A/N: I know this is less than a page. It's a bit crappy but I'm on writer's block! Darn! 

The sun had risen again. Again I found myself on my feet. Yesterday was in the past and today I had to work. A cold shower woke me up fairly well. Teeth chattering, I ransacked my closet in order to find my uniform. I caught a glimpse of my nude body in the mirror. My wounds were healing nicely and my hair had grown a lot! There was no more business in the front it was all a part of different layers.  
I'd never think it but I was able to smirk at the sun looking back. It smiled tenderly at me. I laughed and hurried into my clothes. I was alright because there was a bright side to yesterday and I had maybe overreacted. The reminiscence of his face brought me a slightly down.  
Reno, get over it! One more look in the mirror was one more word with me until I was off to face the regular daily things like training and monitoring of economic whatnot.  
The acoustic guitar out behind the French doors began to sound on its own. Yesterday had brought it despondence. It tried to forget with a hopeful tune that the wind helped it with. I could hear it as I strolled down the halls. The heated daylight embraced its polished wooden body but it wasn't able to completely warm it up for me…  
My transition into each event of the day and the afternoon would be my hair flying all over and my blazer "billowing in the speed" while my feet practically streak the floors with burning rubber from the soles of my boots. To end the day would be an acrobatic flip and electrical whack from my electrified nightstick. In other words my day went like this: "RENO get this! Do that! Let's train! Give me all you got! WHERE IS THAT DETERMINATION?" At the end I desired to take a passive walk.  
"Reno!" I rolled my eyes. My name had become a dreaded word after that day and only for those twenty-four hours.  
"Can I help you?" Halting wasn't necessary because whom ever it was ready to catch up. I could tell when they held onto my black silk button down shirt and let go as soon as they were by my side.  
"Reno, I need some help. Our entertainment was badly injured by a random encounter and was unable to get here. Can you be our entertainment?" So this is Tifa. I thought the voice was familiar. The issues in my head were distracting me to much. I was weakened for the moment since my sixth sense was being interrupted by various thoughts.  
"No thanks Tifa," I knew I was getting myself into a Tiff.  
"Oh, Reno please," she pleaded cutting in front of me and stopping me from going further. "Please!" She held my face so I could look at her desperate face. Would I regret this?  
"Give me five minutes."  
"You're a life saver!"  
"Funny…"

Near the alley I lit my cigarette with Cid's. He had brought me here to talk. My question was about what? Suddenly I had no need to ask him audibly because common sense served me well. He'd speak first while I enjoyed the docile and sweet overriding smell comparable to musk from the mentholated cigarette I had between my lips.  
"Yer talented I give ye that," he smirked. It made me comfortable that this man was similar to me in so many ways. I could say any gibberish and he'd understand. "But ya need to know this yer making a big mistake. I see how ye look at him. He's not that kinda guy so give up," he finished, giving me boost in determination. If not for me and not for Vincent it was because of Cid! I would never give up on ol' Vinnie now.  
"What are you trying to say?" I inquired too innocently. The pilot scowled. "Seriously I'm unable to understand your point!"  
"My point is yer growing too fond o' Vincent and you got no chance 'cause he's not a homo!" It began like a snicker and then it developed into a loud rupture of laughter. It was a contemptuous laugh the annoying kind that didn't necessarily sound like a hyena.  
"Cid, Cid, Cid, Cidddy, Cid, Cid, Cid, how funny can you get? Are you sure the King isn't looking for his fool?" That was over used but fit either way it had some wit to it. "For your information I don't want Vincent that way, not precisely. He's a very interesting character and I need to figure him out. I'm halfway there too. Aside from deciphering the riddle I also want to gain his friendship because, believe it or not, he has my respect and loyalty. Why and how you may ask… I'll respond like this: It doesn't concern you so get out of my face!" It was quite a lengthy monologue or rant or response but it was not all.  
"Whadda' ya suppose will happen to me if I don'?" He was a very veteran man. I shrugged and stomped out the flame of my helping of nicotine.  
"Nothing will happen to you. I'll just walk right over you," I said every word sounding credulous. I tried to go back inside but his arm halted me.  
"Just be conscious kid and don't try anything stupid. Vincent has gone through a lot." I smirked wildly.  
"I know, Cid. I know everything…"

A/N: I was swamped with work. I'm sorry I took so long. I wrote this as quick as possible in the heat of pressure as well. I needed to get it down somewhere or I'd lose it all. I'm sorry again and enjoy this error infected draft. Oh, and it's also a little dry that's writers block for you! Oh and please visit my deviant page so you can see my crummy fanart of Vincent and Reno... It's not dirty so don't expect much.  
"Or at least I think I know everything about his general past," I thought to myself as I strolled back into the building. I was blocking out most of the chatter and the loud clinking of toasts. By art of the gods I made it back to my usual stool without any interruptions. I was a fine Turk indeed.  
"What's wrong?" Mind you, Marlene was a mere infant to me. Her questioning me with means of consoling me was amusing. 'She had no experience and was oblivious to any solution to my issues,' I thought.  
"Nothing you need to worry about, Kido," I laughed while patting her head. She blew up her cheeks and pouted. Marlene could tell that I was trying not to laugh again.  
"Just because I'm younger than you doesn't mean I can't help!" She argued. "You're not supposed to underestimate people!" She whined. At least she picked something useful up.  
"Fine, I'm sorry."  
"Will you tell me what's wrong?" she inquired joyously.  
"Yeah, I like this person but I'm not sure they like me back," I simplified with a half-assed tone.  
"What is this person like?" She was really into this. The last thing I wanted to do was make a little girl upset in a place more hers than mine.  
"Dark hair, scary eyes, I don't waste my time on just anything, blood red; the usual," I hurried. She nodded as if she were processing a conclusion. My elbows on the counter helped my hands support my head in that casual tired look as she analyzed.  
"Have you tried asking?"  
"Asking them if they like me?"  
"Yes," she verified.  
Suddenly into this conversation more than I intended I was satisfying her desire to help with more grown situations. "Well, the case with that is this person isn't like you or me. I don't think I can rush into that question."  
"But how will you ever know for sure if they like you?" Marlene insisted. I meditated that for two seconds.  
"Changing the subject a little, Marlene what is Vincent like?" I tried. She was more than happy to answer.  
"He's really nice. He helps protect me and Densil! Most of the time he looks really sad but he I think that that is how he just looks," she giggled. I sighed. "It's funny that you ask about him."  
"Why, Marlene!" I cleared my throat and held back some. "Why do you say that, Marlene?" She made a face.  
"He asked about you." Keeping it cool I sat there attentively. "He said, 'Marlene, do you know anything about that Turk, Reno?'" The way she impersonated him was priceless. I knew it was an attempt to make me feel better. I shouldn't have underestimated her. "I told him all I knew was that you were a Turk and what my friend's mom said about you and your partner." Was it that obvious that I wanted to know the rest? "While she was lying on the ground, fumbling to get up because creatures attacked her, a redheaded Turk snatched her son away from the explosion of the tower." Elated because I believed I had just earned some points on his charts I patted the young girls head.  
"Thanks, Marlene."  
"No problem kitty!" she teased.  
"Hey, that was a one time thing!" I whined. Oh the tables had turned. I was the pouting one now.  
"I want to call you Kitty." Obviously she was on one of the highs kids get sometimes. I was not going to argue with a kid.  
"And I'll call him Tabby." Speechless, I turned round.  
"Vincent!" Marlene waved.  
"Hey, Red," I greeted a little embarrassed for no particular reason other that I had indirectly declared my 'love' for him through the cheesiest way; song.  
"Marlene." With the mere mention of her name she was gone.  
"How'd you do that?" It seemed like a mock but I was serious.  
"I saw Cid and you go outside. What was that all about?" Marlene was not the only one he was talking about me with. I smirked.  
"Nothin' much," I lied. Furrowing his hidden brows Vincent sat next to me wordlessly.  
The wait was making me very anxious. I wanted to break this silence in some way. Perhaps I should tell him what I feel and heed the child's advice and confirm my adoration towards him. Something had to be said or done. I wasn't going to look him in the eyes. Not until I felt I could take on the weight. I was weak and he was fragile. It was a puzzle with what seemed not solution. None of the pieces fit together.  
"Vincent," I called softly.  
"Yes?" His voice was tired and hoarse yet smooth. It was that vampire stereotype voice which everyone seems to enjoy.  
"Isn't it obvious?" I was chickening out.  
"What is?" he retorted monotonously.  
"That I have a thing for you?" Holding my breathe I waited for his reply. When it seemed I would turn blue-  
"Yes it is rather obvious. My question to you is what has possessed you?" He was so passive and unemotional. If I had tears I would have been streaming.  
"No demon that is for sure," I replied afraid my wit had gone to the dogs. "Vincent, being terribly serious, and hoping that you'll be as honest as I was, what do you feel for me?" He paused and had me holding my breath again. It was just him and I there.  
"I gave all my love away. I don't feel anything but-  
"Sorrow and rage, I know the feeling," I finished his sentence. "I needed to be sure. Is there a plus?"  
"A plus?"  
"Yeah,"  
"Plus, I think you're just a tad confused?"  
"I'm not confused about my emotions. I'm not confused about the fact that the mother of my child died taking with her my heart and some of my sense. I'm not confused about the fact that if I truly loved her and her me I had to move on. If I suffer she suffers and vies-versa. You're wrong about that. How many other things are you wrong about? Don't be afraid to admit it. I admit that my whole life has been a wrong turn until now…so in fact everything I've been through has been worth it… hopefully," The blood in my veins was truly boiling. My hairs on point and my teeth clenched. I didn't like the feeling of sorrow and rage so it infuriated me that Vincent was honing these emotions.   
"Did you love her that much?" He inquired calmer than me of course.  
"I would have given my very life for her. I would have lived my life without my dick if she would have asked," I assured. He was quiet as I expected. "She's more than just a memory but I have to move on. I can't wallow in my self pity all day. I can't torture myself. Sorrow's contagious did you know that?

And I can't deprive the world of me," I joked a little too earnest.  
"You are too arrogant," Vincent lectured.  
"I know but self-importance is what fuels me anything to survive, yeah?" Looking into his eyes once more I smirked. He shook his head tiredly. "Now that we're all being frank I would like to complement your crimson eyes they're so enchanting."  
"So you've said."  
"Have I? I don't recall. And if I did it doesn't hurt, me saying it over. Does it? The first time I saw you they were the first things I noticed." I tried to be less flirtatious than I usually was and it was a chore. I could see him uneasy, trying not to look at me. He found it difficult to avoid the royal color. Vincent reminded me of all the other girls I've ever hit on in a way. It was amusing and sort of uplifting. Uplifting because almost every girl that I've focused my eye on I've gotten into bed with.  
"I remember that day well." It was pleasing to hear his depthless voice again.  
"You do? I only remember so much. I remember giving you all my attention and wan- I'm sorry that was unnecessary." Playing the 'I didn't mean to' card was an extra charisma point for most of the ladies that I've ever ended up 'scoring' with. I wondered if it would work on Vincent.  
"Yes it was," he agreed yet avoiding my stare.  
"Why don't you just walk away?" He supposedly wasn't into me but he hadn't left my side. I was sure after all that I had said he would walk away. Either he was enjoying the attention given to him or he was into me.  
He was silent. I was too but unlike him I dared to look at him. Admitting what I felt was a load off my chest.

A/N: Writer's block then a Stroke. Christ I seriously think I'm going to die. My Microsoft office was deleted from my computer because of stupid Trojan Viruses. How the heck do I get those anyways? Pop ups? Well I'm back and having some health issues which fog up my mind. Christ my head hurts which makes me so angry thus causing me pain and then slow death. Roar... I hope you can all understand this chapter. It's riddled with so many errors it may not be a laughing matter anymore. All I got to say is ... "Mehh" and "BLAHH"

It was written on his facade he wasn't comfortable with me by his side. He seemed like the type that wouldn't care if anyone felt he was rude. If he really wanted to he would have walked away a long while ago.  
The chatter of then and the echoing voices of those at work were making my head spin a pinch. Tifa had brought me a glass of water and an aspirin after I had so sweetly demanded it! Thankfully, I nodded. Soon the glass became "half full". I laid my heavy head on the counter. Red hair floated onto the red caped man's arm. I had no idea because my arms disturbed my site. My temples were pulsating which made my left eye begin twitching.  
"So how was you're day?" I asked him knowing my gesture of complaint had caught his attention. Even if I couldn't see I could somehow tell when people had their eyes on me. It's instinct for the masses. It was nothing special.  
"You really want to know?" I nodded with my head yet down and faced in a way that made me unable to be seen .My arm created a barrier. Feeling that I was a bit too impersonal I mustered up a great amount of strength and picked my self up. My right hand came to my chin and supported my head from falling off my neck.  
"If I didn't I wouldn't be asking you. Don't you think?" He gave me the benefit of the doubt.  
"My day is not as exciting as you are hoping. I just ran around doing errands for Tifa and Yuffie since now they have decided that they need more hands. I am not sure what is happening. I would much rather be back where I always find myself." Holding out on me ay? It was not like I was going to stalk him.  
"Why don't you just tell them you don't want to be here all the time?" Vincent shook his head. "I understand." For friends and family almost anything is done.  
"I thought you might." His voice was lighter and he seemed more sociable. I smirked and drank some more water. "If you don't mind me asking," he began, making me jump. "What weapon do you use?" He was curious about me. I believed that was a good sign. He was comfortable enough with me to ask me questions or he was just trying to change the subject.  
"I use the Electro Magrod and my powerful fists of fury!" I said clenching my fists and raising them playfully. "I'm pretty good with a gun but because of the fact that Rain shot herself, I'm not really- I'll just stay away from those. I've done a pretty good job of burying my past the only thing is it just won't stay dead." He knew this would happen. He knew that I would basically rant about myself if he asked me something that had to do with me. "You probably know how I feel." He said nothing.  
"You guys are awfully friendly!" Tifa's voice came sheering the silence between us. "You've been talking for so long!" Her hands were at her hips again. "This is actually a big surprise." She did seem confused. Was that good? "Vincent can you help Yuffie in the kitchen before she breaks something?" Just then a loud groan and a few plate shattered served to quiet down the customers.  
"I guess you're too late, Vinnie," I called as power walked over to the kitchen.  
"Vinnie? What have you done to him?" Tifa inquired leaning on me.  
"Nothing, he'll talk to me about that later." Tifa smiled.  
"Not just that. He usually doesn't talk to anyone except Cloud and Cid, this much."  
"So he's into blondes," I joked to myself considering the possibility.  
"What was that?" she strained.  
"I said, this headache bums..."

A/N: I wish I was a better writer... sigh well I'll see what I can do about making a fan comic about this. I was listening to Digital love while writing this... Really good song... read this while listening to it.

"So would you go out with a man?" I mustered. Vincent couldn't believe that anyone would actually ask him anything of the sort. We were in the kitchen alone. Yuffie had been taken to the bathroom to get the glass out of her shoulder. The giddy young girl was a mess when we came in but she was strong. The last thing she was doing was crying. Some complaining about the pain was expected and she carried out our expectations.  
It was a spacious place but clustered. Lots of hanged silver worked like a grand amount of mirrors reflecting all that had a reflection. I smirked mischievously at myself in a frying pan hanging near my head. There was nothing in my teeth. My lips were tepid and smooth looking. I could see Vincent which was a relief.  
"I wouldn't go out with anyone! No one means anything to me." Vincent's depthless voice was rising. I nodded and picked a clean counter to jump on and get comfortable. I crossed my legs and began fidgeting with my fingernails, tapping them on different surfaces. It was impossible to check him out with that damned cape.  
With an excited shiver I jumped off the counter. His back was to me. I felt it my job to change that. A few slinky steps and I was between him and a sink. It still hadn't hit me until I conjured up, " Then you wouldn't mind if I-" My sight had been somewhat blurry until then.  
His ruby eyes were wide and he was an inch or two taller than me. Shock paralyzed us. I could breathe in his rapid breaths and he mine. I couldn't recall what fueled me. So I gazed up at him the same way a child would gaze up at what had been under their bed all along or in their closet. This was one of the first times I had been afraid of someone like this. Swallowing hard I told myself I was alright. If I waited for the right time I would die waiting. I didn't want to wait any longer. It wasn't like I hadn't stolen before. 'I'm Reno. I can do this!' I told myself.  
It was an adrenaline rush actually. I gave it too much thought. He could have dodged me but he didn't. The same way he could have walked away earlier he could have walked away now.  
His lips were deathly yet so velvety and full of warmth. My arms wrapped around his neck. One of them strayed searching for his thin waist under that red cape. Gently, I kind of suckled on his bottom lip. My stomach muscles contracted. I felt like I was reaching a climatic point. I had been wanting this so badly finally getting it was tiring and relieving and just- euphoric. Vincent was reluctant to kiss me back but he did at some point for a little while. That was enough for me. He accepted my affectionate actions and that's all that mattered.  
My lust growing to a nearly uncontrollable state I pressed his face against mine and forced his mouth open. I slid my tongue in and explored the foreign space. His dark hair felt soft and plentiful in my hand. Was it a dream? I didn't want to find out. I wanted the night to consume me. I wanted to slumber for as long as time went on. He winced a little when I licked the corner of his lips. If I parted too much the kiss would end yet if I lasted too long he'd avoid me more than he's expected to. It was always a delicate situation with him and it was infuriating! So I shifted my lower half a little closer to his. My thighs became tight and my hold on him too. It was a thrill when he leaned closer.  
I was panting and nearly suffocated when I let him go. He hastily hid his mouth away in his collar and stared at me with a confused angered look. I didn't know what my face look liked. I didn't care. The silence had become extremely awkward and painful! I laughed nervously trembling. My palms were sweating and my chest was thumping. "I know I'm a Turk and I know you'll never stop mourning but-" His dive at my face cut me off. I was truly ecstatic but his lips did not meet mine.  
"Do not tell a soul," he threatened in a hushed hiss. Brows arched and bruised lips in a rainbow I tried to comprehend what had just occurred. He looked afraid; like I felt.  
"What, w-why?" I stuttered. He never answered my questions but pleased my yearn. The taste of him lingered on my canines. "There's nothing wrong with just a little, little fun," I told him in between each breathing break in our kiss...  
Chapter 15 end... lol

A/N: when he's at the door of his apartment listen to one more time... While you're reading the rant listen to a demon for every day and when the girls come in listen to something like Sucks to be you by prozzak... Lol... Well I'm working on 17 right now... It'll be in later or early tomorrow... We don't stopahhh lol... I love one more time!

Rage is a very powerful thing. Everyone has their demons. It's very difficult to exorcise them sometimes when they are always moving around in you; finding different ways to weaken you. Rage and sorrow working together can destroy you completely. Both alone are hazardous in every way. They only feel right or fashionable sometimes because when nothing occurs we feel superior. Living things have always been striving for power; searching for a god. When we meet our fears and play with them and nothing happens, that we're aware of, we feel godly. We feel powerful. We are own deity. We've answered the question. That sense of self control that comes with sorrow appeals to us and when it's mixed with rage which equals to a feeling of strength and daringness those demons can manifest themselves in a way none of us would imagine.  
Vincent Valentine was cursed with becoming part of Chaos or the other way around. He's a host of so many demons. He walks around like the living dead; a misguided and lost spirit. He was forced to be this; what he's become. He has the power of demons yet it always drags him down. He lived thirty years ago. Can you only imagine how hard that must be? We all want him to move on. The thing is he's moved on so much already. But everything's not lost. And if it is, there are more things in this world to gain. Starting from scratch is never bad but we make it so because we are selfish in that matter.  
Nothing was meant to be alone. Humans were never meant to be alone. But if you do feel lonesome in a sea of people it's okay because you have your self. We're all made up of a subconscious and a conscience. Two people in one body. Think of it that way and you'll find your self with more people than you've ever imagined. For the more sexual kind who doesn't care much for words or spirituality just touch and warmth an alternative would be hope and the realization that true love doesn't exist. Actually, we must all be aware that true love doesn't exist and if it does then it's our job to realize that we have to build it. Nothing comes easily in life. When someone is "right" for you, you have to do everything in your power to keep that knot tight. Each time there is a dispute someone will mend it. And if you guys drift apart then... that relationship was not meant to be. You're still searching and there is still someone out there that you have yet to meet.  
Funny thing here: there is always someone who'll like you. There will always be that secret admirer... How come we never notice? We're not psychic. And if you never find that right person... Wake up and tend to that person inside you. I'm telling you the truth. You are someone you've yet to meet. You're someone who you should try to have a relationship with. Make it work. Everything's not lost.  
All the kisses in my life led to sex. This was the first time I ever felt that I didn't want to have sex with the person that I had just kissed. I wanted to marvel at his face for as long as possible. It was shocked and much livelier. I felt guilty yet satisfied that I had triggered that rosy hue on his lips. I was just about to reach for his pale cheeks when the girl's voices came back faintly to my ears. They were just behind the door. We drifted away to different corners of the kitchen.  
"Are you sure you're okay?" Tifa asked Yuffie. The young lady's shoulder was all bandaged up. She nodded and got back to whatever she was doing before she wounded herself.  
"Hope you feel better Yuffie." I didn't care much if she was okay or not. I thought that was the appropriate thing to say. "Tifa thanks for the care." I was actually grateful for that aspirin. "Vincent," The mere mention of his name from me put him on edge. I would never betray him. "Take care." I patted his back and took my leave.  
When you're in love you feel like you have something to live for. That makes most people really happy. When people are in a good mood you can tell. I didn't know if I was acting like one of those overly joyous loons or not but I do know I was riding around with a smirk plastered onto my face. I never said anything polite to random people on the street. I was kind of energetic but not as obsessive as most people are when they get what they want. I was pretty much under control... I was keeping it pretty cool-  
Swiftly I swiped the cardkey. As soon as that door opened I practically hopped in! "YEAH OH YES!" Self-control my ass! I think I even did a celebration dance. My apartment door hadn't even gotten a chance to close properly before I was losing it! "Fuck yes!" I told myself! "FUCK YEAH I ROCK!" I yelled.

A/N: I have writer's block again... This sucks...  
When something good happens or we're in a good mood we tend to forget about everything else. I was ransacking my cupboards for some food. It had been a long day and I had ignored my appetite too long now.  
Sadly enough I hadn't even had time to buy anything for so long. My refrigerator and cupboards and storage closet were scanty. Just as I closed the refrigerator I heard.  
"Knock, knock, am I interrupting something?" This man seemed to sense my arrival. It was rather stalkerish but I suppose I didn't really mind. The day is especially hard on him since he was stuck between four walls avoiding paper cuts and ink stains. Each day he got mountains of paper work to play around with. It was a drag being Tseng. I guess that's the only alternative when you can't raise a gun to a man's head without any moral remorse.  
"No you're not interrupting. Come in if you want," I told him. "I'm not going to be that hospitable there's nothing to offer you here, except." I looked at my choices. "Some milk that that expired four months ago, a bagel from I don't know when, Twizlers, and," I looked at the topic at hand closely. " A rubber band." Tseng had already made himself comfortable on my couch.  
"No, thank you. I think I'll have to pass." I didn't blame him. I shoved everything back but the Twizlers that I bought a week ago into the garbage.  
"I ask myself about you sometimes." He ran his fingers through his hair.  
"What else other than 'how can he live under these conditions that he puts himself in' do you ask yourself?" I was being a complete idiot.  
"Come over here and I'll tell you." Tempting it really was. I didn't know if I should go or not. "What's wrong?" The imbecilic, thought of 'he can read my mind' went through my head.  
"You know what why don't we go out?" He didn't exactly respond to that like I imagined he would.  
"I don't feel like going out today. I'm really tired. I know you're hungry. Why don't we go to my apartment?" Sounded well to me. The only reason I was so hesitant was because I was confused. Vincent and I weren't legitimate and neither were Tseng and I. It wasn't cheating. I agreed.  
His apartment, I never recalled coming in here. Everything was orderly as expected. It was old looking because of the Brazilian rosewood. We ate some ramen and drank some herbal tea at a small round table.  
"There is something different about you Reno."  
"Good or bad?"  
"You tell me." He wasn't sure what it was and neither was I. "Ah," he said. It seemed Tseng had just stumbled upon the answer. "What's the good news?" Wow he was skilled. Yet it was all psychology and ethics. Being able to read a person was mandatory in being a Turk.  
"Wow, news? Nope, I don't have any news. Well, it's nothing important." I was obviously lying and he could tell. I guess anyone could tell when I went up a few notes.  
"Uhuh? Spill it!"  
"What? Spill what? No- w-why?" You'd think I'd throw in the towel.  
Tseng got up from his seat and walked over to me. "Why are you hiding this so much if it isn't important?" He pushed the table a little and sat on my lap. It looked like he was riding me. What could I possibly say to get out of this one?  
"Fine, fine, I was helping a friend out," I began. He cut me off with a lick to my neck. "I thought you wanted to know!" I argued.  
"Go on then..."

A/N: I'm trying to type this as fast as I can! So that I can push in other ideas! I have writer's block! 

"A musician?"  
"You sound surprised." Obviously he was.  
Sadly enough my involvement in the fine arts has shocked many people. Once someone has seen you drunk they automatically assume you are a lost case. If you smoke in a certain style they can determine if you are either a vagabond or a snob.  
We base everything on a basics; stereotypes, and then we make assumptions. This is for our well being. What about the other person's well being? Well, when you win it's not always beneficial to the other person. Life is a battle whether it's an enjoyable thought or not. The people that are better off are those who have strong defenses.  
"I apologize but I am," he laughed. He new I was offended so he tried to repair the tiny emotional damage he had caused. I put a hand to his mouth.  
"Don't worry I forgive you." I smirked at him. "Maybe tomorrow, Tseng. I'm not in the mood." I kissed him on the cheek and embraced him. Unlike Vincent he was welcoming and much warmer. I felt I could hold him for a good time but something told me to let him go. The more self-indulgent part of me attempted to debate with that gut feeling. "Don't worry it's nothing you said. I just don't have the urge to do anything with anyone right now. I'll let you know if I change my mind. Oh, and thanks for having me over," I let him free but held his hand a little before parting completely. It was a sign of affection that never failed to get you what you want.  
"Asher, you owe me," he sounded disappointed and angry at the same time.  
"I know. I'll make it up to you somehow."  
I couldn't sleep. I just laid there in my bed watching ever minute that passed. Time was much slower at night than it was in the day. That's how it felt. I knew that the reason for that was because during the day I was usually more distracted than at night, sometimes... I couldn't shut my eyes at all. I wanted to stop thinking about today and start reliving it in my dreams. Vincent Valentine had finally fallen. The mask was almost off. Almost in this case meant almost, almost. I found myself touching my lips. I was that guy. I hated being that guy who touches his lips as he remembers or touched his arm as he remembers... More importantly females were usually the ones who were doing that. I came to disgust myself for being so damn sentimental. I was also acting very cheesy seeing as the media had used that same action so many times to portray to the audience that that particular character is falling or has fallen for the second main character.  
Amazingly I was so unfocused I went from thinking about how cheesy I was to what kind of cheese I would be. For sometime I was listing different dairy products and wondering if Vincent would like any of them... I was so pathetic and in love... I laughed about it but then it became direly suffocating. I was in love and I couldn't do anything about it. I was powerless to an emotion, the highly destructive virus whose name is made up of four measly letters!

A/N: I have no words for this except for crap. I don't know what is going to happen next... I came back however. That's good. Lol. I hope. I drew RENO AND VINCENT AGAIN. PLEASE VISIT ME DEVIANT PAGE! DO NOT TERRORIZE ME! I MUST DRAW... I know I'm not thaaaat good but I'm okay...

I had eventually shut my eyes and rested for at least half an hour. When I got out of bed the sky matched my eyes and the sun was resisting the clouds. I was off automatically to do my usual duties. That day my shoulders were especially heavy but one thing kept my head up and my back arched in arrogance and nonchalant-ness like always. I wanted to finish work as fast as possible. I needed and wanted to find Vincent again. 


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Hey I'm back. It was hard but whatever Ay!? Love Conquers all! Piff whatever... Anyways Happy NewYears and enjoy as much can be enjoyed... I'll be making a Poll about this be sure to visist it... Please comment. But PLEASE DON'T FLAME ME! I'M SO fragile...

Things become rather mechanical if you do something for a long period of time. Work for me had become a bothersome chore during the span of that year. Going out after massive paper cut dodging and getting lost had become a ritual. It didn't matter where I was going. It was rare for someone to accompany me on my expeditions but it happened.

Down at the arcade, by the Dance, Dance Revolution game I had made many partnerships and I had also won myself titles; "Crimson Blur" and "Ire Fire." My favorite, which had nothing to do with the game, was "Tabby Cat." The girls had suggested it seeing as I had the "stripes" and I told them that I was sick of girls calling me "Tiger."

I had finally finished my chores and I headed out wearing vintage boot cut jeans, a dark button down shirt under a messy vest and my usual boots.

Overall, in a very comforted mood I searched around Edge for the Seventh Heaven. He'd hopefully be there waiting for me. Snickering at my thoughts I blindly strolled on nearly crashing into an advertisement. My cheeks brightened when I heard the cackle of bystander to my incident. I glanced at my right leg where a belt kept my Magrod in place. It was tempting but there were other things on my mind that kept me domesticated enough to settle with giving the store owner a glare and pick up my pace

"Ah, there's one of our number one attractions. Maybe things will get livelier here," Tifa told me as I poked my head into the place. It was a ghost town. I was surprised tumbleweeds didn't roll across the room with the assistance of a whistling wind. I gave her a half assed smirk and slinked in completely.

"Can't you just have a poetry night or something…? Karaoke, _maybe_?" She threw a humid rag at me. It smelled like lemon flavored cleaning supplies. The kind that smell so strong you could get five minutes worth a high. "Or get a radio or something." I hadn't learned my lesson. My punishment had to be meaner! So I decided jumping the counter and grabing a glass and helping her polish would be essential. The bartender grimaced.

"Are you okay?" she put the back of her frigid hand against my forehead making me wince.

"I should be asking you that, Miss Corpse Hands!" I said batting her frigid icicles away. Her grimace didn't fade instead she shot her hands up my shirt. Her nails graced against my skin as they ascended my chest. With goose bumps all over my body I fought the chill and ceased the ice; ripping it from my chest and pocketing it.

Only until the silence prolonged for too long did I noticed that that action was the incorrect one. Tifa was staring at me. Her eyes were glistening in that emotionally confused way. She was either going to sock me in the face or she was waiting for me to kiss her. I gave her uneasy smirk. "Tifa?" _Please don't hurt me_… She nodded so lightly it was barely noticeable. Nothing was coming up! I've always tried to get to that point with a girl I didn't really know how to maneuver out! She leaned into my body. SHIT! I needed a plan! Embracing her was all that I could think of.

My shirt was damp by the time I could actually hear her sobbing. I was in such shock words wouldn't form no matter how hard I tried. "Reno," she said biting my shirt a little. "Thank you!" At least that's what I thought she said.

"Cry all you want" I could never stand anyone crying it was tremendously annoying. As soon as I let the words slip she yelled like a crazy dame into my chest and fell limp in my arms. She was falling and I wasn't the right guy to be holding her so I fell to my knees along with her.

"I try to be strong!" Her weeping story was the last thing I wanted to hear. There was no point in her trying to justify her tears. I explained that to her and did what anyone would have done; hug her hoping that this wouldn't come back to haunt me.

I don't know how long we were there on the floor; her hands in my pockets and her head buried in my chest which she made damp with her tears. I shouldn't have minded so I didn't. I just held her there. Rain used to like that when she cried. "Who would have thought it?" She said finally, looking up at me with red eyes, but not the kind of red eyes that my love had. "One of Shinra's men would comfort me. The same brand of guy that made my life so sad!" She was trying to justify what she spewed with a smile. I cringed and held her hands in my pockets.

"They're warmer now." She sniveled. The door opened. "You don't have to tend to that." I assured her.

"Then who will?" I shrugged and kept her at her knees with me.

"Hear the metallic footsteps? Vinnie boy'll tend to himself?" I smirked. She wasn't surprised at my skill but wiped away the wetness of her eyes and kissed me. Knowing myself I was cross-eyed at the moment. It took me sometime before I snapped out of the confused trance and rubbed the gloss off my lips. I didn't want her to think that I didn't like it but I didn't want her to get the wrong impression. "What was that for?" It was like I was on wheels, the way I created the appropriate distance between me and her!

"You're just so nice!"

"I bet he is…" I looked up with surprise and fear doing the fandango on my face! Vincent hovered above us.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Hello hello. I would like to thank everyone that has read this far and has commented. Uhm. It really means so much to me. You have no idea. Uhm. I've been really bussy lately with finals and stuff that's why it's taken me this long. Uhm again, I IS FRAGILE. Don't hurt me. Uhm keep in mind this is a ROMANCE DRAMA. Thanks and enjoy as much as can be enjoyed. I love you all VERY MUCH and I HOPE I AM ABLE TO SATISFY YOU.

Thankfully Tifa was still sniffling. She began to scavenge her own pockets for a something to wipe her eyes and blow her nose with. I was getting to my feet. As I brushed myself off I observed Vincent observing Tifa. As soon as he felt my eyes on him we made the royal purple. I shrugged. I didn't think he was going to penalize me. He was a smart man if he had been a Turk.

Her real face hid behind a smile. Everyone was the same- struggling to survive the ache and solitude. People were never meant to be alone. Striving for the reason to live was difficult because everyone has the perfect picture roughly sketched in their hearts. The perfect portrait however always strays from what we first had in mind. That's how life and love keep us engaged in the game and frustrate us all the more. We just have to leave the appearances and take the senses. I don't have the answers. I have advice which I never really take. I have desires written high and my thoughts don't depend on my body. Fearlessly that's how we should live. Leave all fantasies behind and live our dreams and never panic at doing so. And when the dreams break beneath us and we're submerged into an icy incasing that saturates every inch of our being and begins overriding our circuits, sluggishly, there is no choice but to be a little more human and believe, this is where we've always been, and swim into warmer waters. Everyone is strong enough to leap out after the lengthy swim. Depending on the heat and fervency in our veins we can always surmount the brutal and draining artic that lost lovers and late loves hand to us with the tempting fruit- their gorgeous words. Whether man, nature, or ourselves, we can always win if we want it and if we lose there are always other battles that bring us to the same point where we cultivate our second chance. I never thought I would love once more. I still can't love correctly but time heals all wounds because humans are weak willed.

She still held herself close. Just like all of us. I lent her my hand without hesitation she clasped it. Immediately with a little pull she picked herself up.

"Our bartend is back, Sir. What'll you have?" She laughed crossing her arms. She was still feeling vulnerable. Embracing oneself lets one know that one has to be independent. The bare walls that crumble within each of us can't be put up by anyone else but ourselves. Once we support ourselves who ever we chose to help could paint it the same color as the rose tinted glasses that come with their presence in our life.

"I just came over in case Tifa needed anything," Vincent said. I jumped the counter again.

"This place is seriously deserted. Why don't you close early Tifa?" I suggested gazing at Vincent. "And if you do we can round up some friends and head to the arcade or something- just roam aimlessly around the streets and get into trouble." Tifa shook her head. She told me that she needed to wait until the brats came back with big dude Barret or Cid. I can't recall. "How 'bout you Vincent Valentino?" My voice had a different tone to it. It was additionally inviting and temperate.

"Yeah, you should go Vincent!" Tifa told him solemnly to get him out of her hair. Her excitement for him was false and it annoyed me. However, she was in a position where she didn't quite know how to react to things without hurting those around her. Depression is always a virus like emotion.

He knew he wanted to go but acted as if he was only tagging along because it was Tifa's request. I was delighted as I held the door for him.

He walked out on queue like a fine crimson mist. "Take care Tifa!" I called. The door closing behind us was music with the sound of our shoes on the concrete ground. I found myself with him again. Though the sun was setting my day was just beginning.

"What happened to Tifa?" Vincent wondered. I shrugged.

"She just started bawling for inexplicable reasons. I think it's because of Cloud." Vincent nodded. "So where do you want to go first?"

"Why did she kiss you?" Vincent managed. I could barely hear him mumbling into his collar.

"Are you Jealous?" Teasing him was risky business. He was much more fragile than it was expected of a grown man. He didn't say anything which translated to, 'answer me!' "I guess that's her way of thanking me?" He glanced at me from the side of his eye. "Seriously, Tifa is extremely attractive but, she's not my kind of girl." He went back to attending the road.

"What kind of girl is your kind of girl?" he questioned. Vincent sure was curious today.

"Do you remember that Aerith girl?" He gave me his undivided attention. I nodded. "But so far all the girls that I'm into end up dead." Vincent raised his brow. It's not clear how I could tell. "So I guess you're my kind of girl now!" I teased chuckling. He stopped walking. It took me sometime to notice. I wouldn't have blamed him. "Hey come on it was a joke!" He turned on his heal and began to walk away. It was hard to find what to say. "Hey! Hey, Vincent, I'm sorry!" Jogging to his side and taking his gloved hand in mine, I risked my neck. "Just let it go, neh?" Purple was such a beautiful color those days. Whipping up my pooch eyes I told him that I was an insensitive jerk. I could have sworn that he was laughing at me.

After we were nearing our destination I began to pester him about the cape. I told him I would give anything in the world to see him out of those clothes. Knowing me you'd guess I also insinuated that I would give anything to see him out of any type of wear. That, however, is beside the point. In return he gave me his cape. I smirked. "Can we pawn this for something better?" Snatching it away from me he tucked it under his arm. "Why can't I take you to a department store? It's still 6 pm."

"You're so gay," he said smirking back at me. I pushed him a little.

"You should be talking mister bondage." I searched for my mobile phone.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Okay I'm back. Uhm Sorry for being somewhat evil in this chapter. Uhm... Again don't flame me I'M A FRAGILE SOUL! i LOVE MY READERS LOVE THEM TO DEATH. Urmmmm... Read on. I'll be sure to update soon- if that's what you want. Don't forget to review- I tend to update faster when I read reviews because it reminds me that someone actually cares... Again spelling grammar just keep reading 'cause I'm a horrid writer! lol I noticed somethings might repeat... I think it's because of this thing the edit preview box...

It only takes a few seconds in order for my phone to turn off but it only took a few seconds for it to start vibrating. Grumbling to myself I observed the 8bit moogle running and waving its arms hysterically on the screen. The amusing display could only mean that who ever was calling was calling because of an emergency. I knew that there weren't any questions to ask. I was to report back to HQ and that was the end of the story. However, because I was along side of my alabaster demon I decided to pick up and ask me some questions.

"How big of a deal is this?"

"Urgent." Tseng sounded like he was supposed to. I stared at Vincent who seemed lost in thought; his face hidden by his dark hair. I smirked and then looked away hoping he wouldn't catch my stern expression. "Where are you? I'm sending Rude to pick you up. We must all report to ShinRa manor in Nibelheim."

"I don't follow! Why?"

"You'll see when you get here. Where are you?"

"Damn it- I'm in Edge. How long will he take?" I fought the urge to throw the phone down and stomp on it until it turned to confetti.

"Reno, are you with someone?" I could tell that he was somewhat upset at the thought of my being with someone. Yet he held onto some sort of forced hope. I glanced at Vincent and nodded dreamily. His face seemed to glow in the darkness. He was unbelievably beautiful, the same as moon fire. His eyes were wide and radiant like fire materia. It was imminent that he'd figure out what was going on.

"Yes," I said blankly.

"I'm sorry." Tseng was whispering now.

"Well where do I go?" He told me the best coordinates. "I'm not in uniform."

"I'll radio in Rude."

"I don't have my weapon!"

"Don't worry about it."

"Could your timing be any worst?"

"It wasn't my call. That is why I give you my apologies for your loss, Reno." Tseng hung up.

"I'm fortune's fool."

"I don't disagree that you are a fool," Vincent replied soothing my anger. It didn't matter that he was insulting me. I was his fool as well.

"Look, something came up. I have to meet up with Rude somewhere." My shoes were the perfect place to fix my eyes on. "I really wanted to spend time with you. Trust me I really did but I am a Turk after all.-

"I haven't forgotten that," Vincent said. Fiercely crimson eyes penetrated the side of my head.

"Vincent," I paused until he made some sort of gesture to know the rest. "I'm so sorry." The softly uttered words escaped my lips smoothly. They sounded like if I were about to cry. "I'm so sorry," I said again. "You're not a joke to me."

He never said a word but he patted my arm which communicated much more than a million words could ever. Actions are so much better than words because words are simply symbols that float about, lifelessly, aiding the enigma in which life is engulfed.

Of course, feelings were shunned where I came from. I shook off my imminent blubbering and looked Vincent in the eyes. Then I took off.

Rude wasn't very vocal throughout the ride which didn't surprise me but I tried to regain the trust of my best buddy.

"Aren't you ever going to ask what's up?" He was silent.

"Okay, I'll ask you. What's up?" I smirked and waited.

"Nothing new," Rude finally said. His hair was growing in which made him seem odd.

"You gonna shave?"

"I'm seeing if I could go for a new look,"

"Like what?"

"I don't know,"

"Hm,"

--

"There are 11 sessions in this simulation. Each and every one of you will have to face these obstacles on your own. I've made sure that this exercise is like nothing any of you have faced. I expect a lot from the Turks but let me remind you that any injuries or loss of life is not ShinRa's responsibility. If you wish to quit the TTT terminal, as always, is available." Infallibly clean and crisp Rufus's outfit seemed iridescent in the electric blue light caused by the Mako flowing through the field. The usual impenetrable exterior coated the young president's face. There was something lacking in the president that made him much like the robots on the field. I watched them prepare themselves to give us hell. They were Cyclops towers with spider legs that stretched out wide. Mako flowed through them the same way it surged through the tubes below them; brilliant and azure. Pleased by the familiar color my pulse grew steady. My stomach untangled as I forgot about the shame I felt when I had to leave Vinnie behind. "With that said, follow me."


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: It's a short chapter but I think it's significant... I'm really glad that there were so many reviews for this story! Well, I'll be back with more promptly but first some food for me. I'm getting a lot of twig jokes thrown at me... Well anyways NO FLAMING PLEASE. AND I LOVE YOU ALL! Jamming to God put a smile upon my face

In that moment where we hesitate the past catches up. You try to fight it off and even succeed to knock it back into its "burial." The kicking and wailing, however, show you that the past is indeed a present problem and never dies. Even if you say you're not bothered anymore by your memories sooner or later you'll find yourself looking back. Once you notice that you're chained in paranoia you'll retreat once more or at least a little more, inside yourself.

The handgun before me- "I need you to use this, Reno"- it shined in the electric light of Mako. In each of those highlights her delicate smile was reflected. Her eyes were present there in all their glory. They were so bright like torches. "These are hard times and I need you to be more versatile." I looked up at Rufus in horror. Like an angel he hovered above me as I slipped into my equipment. Pale and brilliant, he really did embody magnificence. I couldn't help but fall in love with him for a moment.

Lightly and quite smoothly he placed the device near my arm. I saw her smiling back at me. Her saccharine scent lingered under my nose like the ending of a soft ballad. It pried open my lime eyes. I was in a hole; an abyss with fang-sharpening fiends. Noticing I was no different I felt my cheeks hollow. _Was there anything I could do?_

Before he could go back to his seat I caught his coat as it swayed behind him. One could say that I was begging like a mutt would beg. My eyes glistening with salty suppressed tears pleaded for mercy. His bitter ones would not budge. "I can't." He stared indifferently at my ache.

"You will."

"I can't! I won't." I let go of him and stood up hastily. "I promised I would never pull the trigger of a gun." My head fell limp. I was risking my job and life.

"Then you chose the wrong occupancy." Rufus sighed heavily. "Some promises can't be kept."

"If you're willing there is always a way to keep promises, especially to those who made you who you are." Tseng was in the middle of cocking his riffle. The sound pierced more than the sound barrier. After a long pause I said, "I will forever be loyal to the Turks and you, Sir, because I said I would. My word, Sir, is all I have left of my humanity." It would have seemed irrelevant to say what I did but it made sense.

"I really wish you wouldn't disobey me like this."

"Give me any other weapon and I'll master it." Everyone's shoulders felt my tension. Ultimately the freezing metal of the gun warmed between my hands. My knuckles were white throughout the whole simulation. And my breaths were lengthy and profound. For every time I pulled the Trigger I had to swallow a dagger. The poison on the tips of these daggers dismantled my soul.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: I've been playing Mabinogi for a while so I couldn't get a lot done plus I have to do some summer reading LOL. I'll be sure to update soon. DON'T LOSE HOPE ON ME NOW! I LOVE MY READERS AND COMMENTERS! JUST DON'T FLAME ME!! please... There might be a lot more mistakes here I was kind of trying to stick to one mood and so I didn't reread at all! I think I failed at keeping the same feel but that's up to you to decide. IT'S YOUR CHOICE- do you want to be one less- one less. lol I was watching that commercial.

Long shadows were cast from the tall buildings as I rode down the barren streets. The sky matched my head which probably looked like a fiery blur as I passed by. It had been a while since I had left the ShinRa Building. It had been a while since I enjoyed the fire of a sunset on my own. For a moment I was at ease and satisfied as I picked up speed. Even though I was going so fast it still felt like I was stuck in harmonious melody- something like a nostalgic ballad. I wasn't as sentimental as I'm making it seem but I was caught in my own thoughts.

A bump on the rode made me skid. I shook and wobbled enough to notice how fast I was really going, which was above the speed limit but I was on the highway when I noticed so it didn't matter. Yellow flowers on the sides of the road and lonesome trees were the only bystanders. I was practically aiming for the horizon as I rode. As soon as I was stabilized and back in Midgar looked behind to see what I had hit. Far too faraway it was impossible to see anything but I wasn't too far too see that I was practically crashing into the "Welcome" sign for Kalm Town. A sharp turn made my tires screech. Laughing nervously I made into Kalm.

Nothing had gone through extreme change in the little town. Almost every house had a peeked roof, the same height, and color but there were buildings that supported the town's advancing as was expected. The Stone patterns that made the floor pleased me more than the regular concrete I was used to. I walked on foot for a while guiding my bike through the darkness that suddenly came over the town. For some reason people tend to walk close to building sides when they're feeling heavy. I recall I was rather close to people's windows. I noted this when I paused and gazed up calculating my time which I didn't really want to limit. Dark clouds that had gathered in the sky clasped together. A streak of light ripped through indigo vastness. Defiant against the coming rain I turned around. "Reno?" By art of magic Vincent, my vice, had materialized from one of the apartment buildings. "Is that you?"

"Hey is this where you live?" A droplet of rain stung my cheek; freezing cold against my skin.

"You're a stalker," he said inviting me in with a gesture and heading back inside.

"I'm not a stalker!" I cried while setting my bike against a wall. Halfway done from chaining the motorcycle to a pipe or something, I wasn't really sure to what, my body temperature had changed drastically. Cold beads showered me. "SHIT!" I shouted at the world.

Akin to a sad pup I made my way inside. The graffiti on my converse was distorted and the letters had bled into each other and onto the white part. My black V-neck shirt exposed my right shoulder as if I was some kind of flirty chick and my jeans were falling off my hips. Not to mention my hair was slightly messier than it usually is; sticking to my tattooed cheeks, forehead, nose, and even my shoulders. The Leather bands on my wrists would glue themselves on as if it were a summer day and start to smell odd like if it were freshly torn off the back of the cow; a grave gory scent. The space under my eyes felt like if I hadn't slept for days and my nose had clogged slightly while my upper lip trembled with embarrassment.

Vincent stared at me standing in the doorway with amusement. "Is it fate?" I joked.

"Maybe," he replied retrieving his keys from his pocket and pressing the button for the elevator.


	17. Chapter 17

a/n: Mistakes are imminent. Sorry about how things turn out. Hopefully I'll draw Vinnie in whatever comes next. Uhm. I love you guys. Tell me if things are getting crappy. Please- but do it in a sensitive way cause I'm a sissy. LOL.

Vincent would glance at me from time to time giving me the oddest expressions. I'd make believe I didn't see him and sadly tap my foot in the puddle I was standing in. The skin on my lower lip became tight and smooth. My fingers twitched now and again and my stomach muscles contracted in an attempt to keep me warm. Suppressing a yawn I looked his way.

"Is there something wrong?" I shook my head and then nodded overruling the previous gesture.

"It's just that, well, it's just too much of a coincidence." I thought about how I would explain myself. Nothing came up. "Forget I said that." He nodded calmly. "Back at ShinRa I had a lot to do, you know?" He didn't say anything like he usually does when there isn't much to clarify. "That's why I'd been gone for such a long time." The elevator doors opened up to golden letters on a black background reading _'fourth floor'_. He walked out and I followed like a pet. I thought about how we never called to meet up anywhere and just happened to find each other. It was too much of a coincidence. _Wasn't it?_

"Aren't you coming inside?" He said. I was afraid of going inside to be perfectly honest but eventually I did as he wanted. As I would do all of my life or so it felt.

His place, it wasn't like I anticipated. It was rather simple and small enough. I wasn't paying much attention to anything in general except for my wetness.

"It's true then. Cat's don't like getting wet?" I understood the joke quickly and nodded. I was quite uncomfortable in my wet clothes and I guess he could note that. It was imminent that he would understand my uncomfortable condition with how my nose scrunched up and my lips formed a bow.

"At least not this Tabby." The amount of cheesiness in this situation struck us both, eventually. I was flushing like mad and he just made a get away to his room telling me to hold on while he got a towel. Circumstances didn't get any better for him when I asked him if he'd mind me getting out of my clothes.

Being the kind of person he was he didn't forbid it although I could see him secretly objecting to it. He made a get away again by offering me some wine. He knew I wouldn't decline and went to it. When he came back the towel was tightly wrapped around my waist and my clothes were in my arms. The droplets of water trickled down my body gradually. One of my hands gained its freedom and combed my hair back carelessly with my fingers. He cleared the back of his throat.

"So, nice place you have here." Vincent nodded. "Where can I put this?" He made a gesture with his head for me to put my clothes on his counter. "You have a mop or something?"

"Forget about it,"

"Cool," he handed me the drink. I still couldn't believe I was in his living room in nothing but a towel and holding a wine glass. How kinky was that? A slight craving for a cigarette attacked me but I knew that I would push it if I asked him if I could have a smoke. The rich scent that comes with dimness filled the humming silence.

"Are you just going to stand there?" He sat down on his couch. I follow some distance away from him in order to ease him if he were in actuality bothered by my nudeness.

"There's a lot I don't know about you." He looked at me swirling the wine in the glass. "Vincent, how do you make a living?" He laughed and sipped his drink. I knew his actions around me pretty well by now. "You won't answer me will you?" I leaned towards him playfully. "That's fine." I scanned his face amorously and smirked. In return he only furrowed his brows. Not wanting to smother him too much with my _love_ I looked and moved away swiftly.

"The youth of today," he murmured under his breath.

"Oh, c'mon don't give me that!" I turned my head sharply. "You were given a second chance. Of course you were meant to do something much more interesting than being with me but hey- who says the journey shouldn't be enjoyed." I wondered how needy I must have sounded to him. The amount of discomfiture I was experiencing was overwhelming. I kind of wanted to cover my head with the velvet throw ticking my elbows.

"Reno, you're really something." A chuckle escaped me.

"I know," It couldn't be helped. Casual conversation, that's all it was for the most part. I'd never known how to carry out such long, usually boring, dialogue. He didn't mind and seemed to enjoy it. I enjoyed the fact that he was being much more verbal towards me than I had ever imagined. It was a thrill to be talking with him because it was a back and forth thing. However the things we talked about weren't really as exciting as you'd expect but they were in my department. I explained the joys of deleting and receiving messages and how he should upgrade his phone because that was old technology and get something like mine which had internet and a GPS system. He nodded along and then told me I was right but that my phone was ShinRa tech. Not shocked by the appearance of utter disturbance on his face I informed him about some brands. Throughout most of the night I explained and he asked more questions until I took his place.

"If I wanted to- could I leave them behind?" Vincent's brows knitted together in perplexity. "Could I – stop being a Tur," Shaking the thought away I rubbed my face with the palms of my hands. "Forget it."

"You'd get killed,"

"If not I'd be tortured by my insubordination." The towel had lost it's dampness a while ago making me a bit more comfortable. I wouldn't have minded sleeping on his couch. The lamp light sadly shined making shadows on our faces. I hoped for him to say something but I knew it was futile. The wind knocked against the windows fiercely and the rain followed its example." Do you think I'm a bad person, Vincent?"

"Your choices were just bad," he took a sound sip from his drink.

"Define, bad?"

"Unfavorable." He watched me nod and then catch his eyes.

"Maybe I should hang my clothes. I need them to dry sometime soon. Piled up like that they won't be dry. Not even by tomorrow." It was a fine escape from the previous mood.

"It isn't that dire. Also, are you sure you want to go out in that storm?" '_You just want me to stay'_, I would have said that but he would have done something to make that impossible just to spite me. However, smirking like I was just the same as saying what I wanted.

"You shouldn't worry so much."

"Who says I'm worrying? I'm just reminding you that you're a klutz."

"Ah, but a good-looking klutz," I added arrogantly and mocked flipped a piece of my hair. He shook his head and relaxed a bit more on the couch. "Vincent, I'm going to have to push the theme of your clothes." He groaned inside himself. "Oh, c'mon you have to try something new!" I thought about how the outfit must have been glued to him. "Please," I was pleased to see him debating it. A few minutes passed and I was still urging him with my most excellent pouting blue eyes.

"When?" Thrilled I patted him on the shoulder.

"Yeah, that's the spirit!" He hid the lower half of his face in his collar.

"This better be worth it."

"I'll make it worth your while!" I smiled. "Err, if I don't make it tomorrow you should still go to Beatrice in the _Men's Wear Boutique_ because I'll call her first thing in the morning to make an appointment for you. Tell her Reno sent you. She'll be wearing her name tag so that won't be a problem." He grimaced a bit. "The place is in Edge, near where the monument used to be."

"What are you brewing?" I smirked again. He knew me well. I would recommend something.

"I'm thinking you should stay close to red," I replied. Vincent laughed softly to himself. I strained to bask in the sound longer.

"I would have guessed." There was a toothy moment between us both. Eventually time stole the moment and I grew tired. The wine in my system didn't help my drowsiness. The winds were still fiercely pounding and the raining was endlessly hushing the residents of the area to sleep with ill will towards the needy winds. "You should rest up, Reno." I heard Vincent say through lethargic ears.

"Yeah, I should get going. It's probably really late," I said coming to my feet. A gloved hand touched my bare thigh. His fingers were warm and I could feel them through his gloves. Knowing what it meant I sat down and laid my head back. From the corner of my eyes I stared at him staring at me. The royal purple was never more confusing. My light azure eyes should have been sparkling with since they were watering from a suppressed yawn.

Weary and limp I slipped closer to him. He didn't seem to mind. "What now?" The rain grew stronger. "Clearly you can't trust a fool like me out there." I hoped he'd feel remorse for calling me a klutz. "But can you trust a fool like me here?" I hadn't noticed how it happened but I was hazardously close to him. His crimson eyes scanned my face rapidly. New alertness shot into my system. Sleep was never so unimportant. "I value your friendship." The words struck me violently. He clenched his teeth as if fighting back an urge. Drowsiness surged back into my blood stream. My eyes were still glistening and the silence was growing. I needed to say something back but time was taking my chance away.

"I value you," I returned meekly yet with poise.

Darkness didn't last long. Neither did my consciousness. It was 5:00 am when Vincent nudged me awake. Apparently my head had fallen onto his lap. I gazed up at him the same way a child would have. "Don't you need to go to work?"

"Shit," I grumbled burying my face into his abdomen. "It's such a long ride." It seemed as if he hadn't slept at all. He was so unyielding and attentive.

"Would you mind getting off me?"


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: It's generally really short because nothing's going on in his life for a while. I'll get back to you guys soon. That's a promise. There are alot of things going on so far in my life. I'm always on deviantart if you need to ask me something. The theme was generally boredom. Remember: I love you all!

I'd finally received the call I was waiting for or so I thought. I believed I would have been more excited to get a call from Mr. Valentine but I wasn't. Incredibly relaxed I listened to his voice. It was the same; as if the long silence which he's accustomed to had burned his throat; any other time I would have savored it and made it last with endless questions and teasing. He brought me bad news. Something had come up. Somehow I was sure that I dissevered it.

The news settled slowly into my mind at first. Then I began to think. I hoped Tseng wouldn't be popping by anytime soon while I took a trip into space. Losing myself into the depths of my head; I came to the conclusion that I might have been wrong to push the subject of his attire. The missing emotions swooped in for the kill within seconds. Guilt, the strongest, taunted me repetitively. Self-loathing accompanied it as an instigating right hand man. Who knows how that really worked?

Obviously I'd been trying to change him. I could try to justify my actions however many times I desired but it didn't change the fact that I was suppressing him. The silence at my desk grew thick and boring. "Fashion as art", I thought. Knowing the language of music qualified me as an artist but I didn't know anything about fashion. I had to visit a professional on many occasions to help me. It just wasn't a priority to me. Nevertheless thinking of an artist as a creator and thinking of art as creating or a creation I was sure fashion was an art. If that was so then, "it should be a liberal practice and rules shouldn't be applied." It went on like this for a while until I noticed that I'd fallen behind on my statistical analysis. Of course I would go back to it. It was such a boring day at work. It was imminent that I would fall again into the train of thought.

We often suppress those we love even if we don't notice. It's a subconscious action that bites us back when we least expect. Often justifying our wrongs to ourselves we become blind of that. My defenses were: "I thought that a change of clothes would do him well. The change would hopefully make him more vulnerable to a change of heart. Maybe he'd forgive himself because a small boost of confidence would make him notice how great he really is." I never stopped to think about how his usual look made him feel. I was almost certain that his outfit was symbolic to him. Everything we really do is a selfish action but sometimes it's best not to consider it so. I didn't consider that my simple suggestion could have been less selfless than I made it out to be. That change of heart which I expected was supposed to lead him closer to me somehow. There's always something in it for us, whether it's the overwhelming satisfaction that we could help someone out or that we've made life a bit easier for ourselves.

After I'd toiled my day's worth I called Vincent back and got the machine.

"This is Vincent. Leave your message."

"Vincent, hey, it's Reno. I guess you knew that. You know- I'll just call you back." I did call him after that day. I called multiple times. Each time I got the machine. I gave in after the sixth call. Of course something had come up and I'd just have to wait until it went down. I'd have to pay him the same respect he paid me when I'd bail on him.

I had always been a lonesome stray but that day I was feeling the solitude of those who walk with nothing but a shadow underneath their feet. With my hands in my pant's pockets I strolled through Edge. My head was held high inside the clouds. The red scarf around my neck billowed playfully behind me like my hair. Brisk breezes traced the scars on my cheeks, slowly. For some reason I was also concentrating a lot on the rhythm of my feet and the way the heels of my boots stabbed the concrete. Steady, the days went steady from then on. My outlook on things was generally peaceable as if my demons were on a long coffee break.


End file.
